Monday, July 27, 2009


Takashi Miike has been going a little soft the last few years and it makes me a sad. As far as I can remember the last really great thing he did was GOZU and that was in 2003! Yea, I know he did IZO, ONE MISSED CALL and segments of THREE...EXTREMES and "Masters of Horror"  but none of that exploded my brain out the back of my head like his earlier films (THE HAPPINESS OF THE KATAKURIS, VISITOR Q and DEAD OR ALIVE) did. CROWS ZERO doesn't put an end to the weak streak.

Nobody in the history of Suzuran All-Boys High School has "conquered" the entire school, but newcomer Takiya is going to try and change that shit. His father is the head of a large yakuza family and he informed Takiya that if he can defeat all of the gangs of Suzuran then he will put him in charge of the syndicate when he comes of age. That sounds pretty cool and there is nonstop violence from beginning to end, but still I never really got into the film. The fist fights are just ridiculous cause sometimes it'll be 50 on 1 (no bullshit) and later that evening the loser is just walking around like normal except he has a few bandages on. Also there's no guns, it's all fist fights with no consequences towards the losers.

To be honest I think this film is actually geared towards towards teenage girls. I could be wrong, but the entire cast is made up of pretty boys who alternate between standing around looking thoughtful/sensitive then two seconds later punching each other in the rain.

It says Takashi Miike on the credits and I found some footage on YouTube of Miike actually directing the movie, but there's never any unique "Oh shit! Takashi's a fucking badass!" moments in this film. It's an interesting watch, but I doubt I will ever watch it again. Strangely enough though I'm looking forward to part 2.
Ahh yes..."Pee Sex".

You see those wrinkles in my forehead? That means I'm sensitive.