Friday, July 10, 2009

TEEN WITCH (1989)

After seeing this clip on YouTube I knew I had to watch the movie...



...and it wasn't too bad. I enjoyed to complete cheesiness of the high school scenes (especially those rappin' dorks), but unfortunately way too much time was wasted with the Teen Witch character visiting and talking to the Seer character (played by that slow talkin, short broad from POLTERGEIST) who is teaching her various bullshit about witchcraft...yawn.

If you're into goofy eighties cinema then check it out...especially if you're a chick, I'm sure you'll probably love the shit out of this movie, but I'm a fuckin man. I'm a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus Rex! I've been known to live in the jungle for years at a time and arm wrestle alligators. I even got arrested once for punching a saber tooth tiger cause he tried to steal the carcass of a gazelle that I had just strangled to death with my bare hands...I ain't got time to bleed back there behind them trees I gotta get to the choppa!!! And I damn sure don't have time for slow parts in my movie about teenage witches! I need less talking and more nonstop singing and prancing around like idiots.

Best scene of the movie: