Monday, January 18, 2010

CREMASTER 1 (1996)

Hmmmm, I'm not exactly sure what the Hell is going on here, but for the sake of the review I watched the entire fucking thing. All 40 minutes of it. I know, I know you're saying 40 minutes isn't a long time, but trust me CREMASTER 1 can make 40 minutes feel like 10 hours. I'm not saying this is a bad film, in fact I wouldn't even categorize this as a film at all! The entire "story" can be told like this: choreographed dancing girls on a football field; two Goodyear blimps floating overhead; inside the blimps we see two identical scenes: four air stewardesses sitting around a table with a shitload of grapes on it; under the table is a chick who digs a hole through the table and she steals some grapes; with the grapes she makes shapes on the floor and then the chorus girls on the football field dance in the same shapes. The End. Forty-fucking-minutes!!!

I have no clue what any of it meant, but I'm sure it's some super-intellectual, hyper-deep shit that would just explode my little, bitty brain if I ever figured it out, but I don't care. It was boring. For art snobs only.

I do apologize for the lack of quality on the screenshots, but this was the best copy I could find.

Part 2
Part 3