Thursday, December 16, 2010

ONE DARK NIGHT (1983)

Slow-paced tale of a high school girl who wants to get into the cool girl clique "The Sisters".  Her initiation is to spend the night in a large mausoleum. That wouldn't be so bad, except the notorious "psychic vampire" Karl Rhamarevich was laid to rest up in there just this morning and he isn't quite dead yet. In fact, the last thing he did before he "died" was scare some females so badly that he telekinetically sucked all the adrenaline out of them until they died. Sounds like a real asshole. So now Meg Tilly is high as a kite and scared shitless while her sisters sneak around trying to scare her some more....then the zombies show up.

If I'd seen ONE DARK NIGHT as a kid, that last 20 minutes would have scared the shit me, but as a handsome adult, I found the whole thing rather boring.  Zero nudity, small cast, zero blood, zero gore, camel toe (visible twice), great 80's hair and fashions. Fans of 80's horror movies might enjoy it, but only if they have low standards.  Skip it.