Tuesday, May 10, 2011

MY MIGHTY PRINCESS (2008)

I was hoping that I would die by getting caught in the gears of a combine before I had a chance to say this but (here we go)...Jae-young Kwak has made a shitty movie. MY SASSY GIRL and CYBORG GIRL were both masterpieces, but he really shit the bed with MY MIGHTY PRINCESS. It fucking stinks.

You got this girl who's the direct descendent of martial arts masters, but she doesn't give a shit. She just wants to be a normal girl. Her father is extremely disappointed. She has a crush on a fellow student and even joins the school hockey team to be near him. Tons of boring shit happens until finally she has to use her natural wire-flying, sword fighting skills to save the day or something like that, maybe, I don't know, I was so goddamn bored that I had to resort to snapping a mousetrap down on my testicles just to stay awake.

Everything about this movie annoyed me. The story was overly complicated and stupid. The main actress played the girl so stupidly that at time I wondered if maybe she was borderline retarded. The fight scenes looked so goddamn fake it made me want to jump 40 feet in the air, flail my legs like an electrocuted octopus then fly down and kick my TV in the pussy. The girl's main friend was mentally retarded. The side story about the teenage hockey player being in love with the old woman made no sense what so ever and took up probably 30 minutes of the movie! Why?! And all of the flashbacks were completely worthless.

Before this film I held Jae-young Kwak in very high regard, but after this disaster I'm really confused as to how the same human being who accomplished something as perfect as MY SASSY GIRL could have even sunk to such artistically low level to make some crap like this. I'm still in a state of shock over how shitty this movie was.

And speaking of shock...what the fuck was up with the Tae-hyun Cha cameo?! When he appeared onscreen I jump up so quickly that the mousetrap flew off my ballsack and hit my cat in the whiskers.

Skip this terrible, terrible film and just forget that it even exists. Go rewatch MY SASSY GIRL again instead.
I've seen this same shot before somewhere...hmmm? Where could it have been?

Are sword really suppose to bend backwards like that?

What the fuck is he doing in here?!!!!!!