Wednesday, March 30, 2011

HELLCATS (2008)

From the DVD cover and that name I was expecting this to be some sexy crazy female oriented sex comedy, but no it's actually a pretty subdued film that reminded me a lot of Ang Lee's EAT DRINK MAN WOMAN...except for the fact that EDMW was a fucking masterpiece and this movie is just barely above average.

You have three females (their relationship isn't important), each represents a different age bracket: teen, late 20's and early 40's. All three are having relationship problems. The teen has a boyfriend, but she accidentally discovers she actually has the hots for her female best friend. The middle chick has a slacker musician boyfriend who just sits around his messy apartment doing nothing...except cheating! She dumps him and starts dating a handsome beau hunk who's really nice, but she still has feeling for the loser dude. The older female starts a sex-based relationship with a younger man, but maybe it's based on more than sex.

I liked the movie. The director did an outstanding job of capturing three distinctly different females and chronicling the separate problems they faced, but it could have been a little shorter. Also that song they used towards the end was fucking horrendous! Good acting, intriguing stories, non-existent sex scenes, no nudity, worth watching if you can find a copy, but nothing worth going out of your way for.

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD (2010)

George-Michael Bluth is dating an extremely hot girl who's 17, he's 22. For some unknown reason his cockblocking hipster friends constantly badger the living shit out of him over this. Then one night at a party he sees a really cute girl (his age) with pink hair. He dumps the younger girl, hooks up with this new girl and now must "battle" her seven "evil" ex's.

He does, he wins and he gets the girl. The End. I liked this movie for what it was (at least it tried to be somewhat original), but I was still disappointed. I'm not sure what I expected, but I was really wanting to be blown away and taken for a wild ride. Instead it's just a bunch of hipsters sitting around talking like they're way down on Quaaludes (some of you oldz will get that reference) and in general doing absolutely nothing. Finally we get to the fight scenes and they're just ehhhh. I never got any since of danger from them. All kinds of violent shit would happen to George-Michael, but none of it ever hurt him. He'd get slammed through a wall or bashed in the face repeatedly and he's still be standing there with those mentally-retarded puppy dog eyes and adorable stroke victim mumble-stutter talk that he always does.

What would have been cool is if instead of being just one step above "The Power Rangers" SPVTW would have gone for an dark R-rating and thrown in some gritty, blood soaked violence. But I guess that's not what the filmmakers were looking for. Oh well.

Mildly interesting watch, but with absolutely zero tension I felt disconnected from the entire thing. Worth a rent if you're interested and that's about it. Oh yea, the music was terrible. Some generic sounding brand of hipster shit-rock that wouldn't even piss off these assholes.
The "I will end you" line is really getting old.

Hipster overload.

Why? She's nice and really hot.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

RINKO EIGHTEEN (2009)


Eighteen year-old girl, Rinko, has rich parents and goes to a great school and plans to be a doctor. Her life is very pampered and wonderful. Then one day her father is busted for some illegal business dealings and her mother runs off with her lover. This leaves Rinko instantly homeless. Things are looking pretty grim when she's taken in by a small porno company as an assistant and even allowed to sleep on the couch and use the company's wardrobe of slutty outfits as her own clothes.

With a story like that you'd expect this just to be a cheap softcore porno, but it's not. For whatever reason this movie was really sweet and touching and genuinely funny. My only real complaint would be that it wasn't long enough! When Rinko starts her job she's very naive and knows absolutely nothing about the real world. She can't even ride a bicycle! But thanks to some tough love, patience and hard work Rinko becomes a valuable asset to the company.

It's honestly ridiculous why this movie is as good as it is. The budget looks be pretty much nothing and the story is crazy, but somehow thanks to a clever script, some really spirited performances (especially by the main actress whose name I don't even know!) and obviously a lot of talent behind the camera this movie works and I really enjoyed it. I hope they make a sequel!

One complaint I do have outside of the movie is the subtitles on the DVD are fucking horrible! Some of the worst I've ever seen, but I guess the fact that I still liked the movie just goes to show how good it really was. There's also a surprisingly small amount of nudity, but don't let that scare you off. Check it out, it really is a sweet movie.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

FULL CONTACT (1992)

Chow Yun-fat is a bad guy who, in order to help his friend (Anthony Wong) get out of a debt to a ruthless loan shark, agrees to take part in the hijacking of an arms shipment. They steal the weapons, but then as they are about to make their getaway Wong's cousin attacks Chow and leaves him for dead...but he's not fucking dead, so a few years later he returns to enact his revenge.

FULL CONTACT is a fun 90's HK actioner filled with fog and smoke and strange clothing and lighting reminiscent of a music video. It might not be as stylized as the John Woo films of the same era, but director Ringo Lam more than makes up for it with tons of gritty action. It's pretty much nonstop! I loved the bad guy and his gang. He's supergay and violent as fuck and his gang was made up solely of psychopaths! Instead of going in a bar and simply kidnapping a guy, they go in, talk shit, beat up everybody, shoot anybody who makes a sound, fire off probably 500 bullets, toss a hand grenade in when they leave (it's still full of innocent people!) then drive off while laughing like maniacs.

On top of the action you have Chow Yun-fat, Simon Yam and Anthony Wong all in the same movie. That's fucking awesome and worth watching just for that. Tons of great action scenes, zero nudity, bullets flying all over the place, very bizarre dance moves, bullet cam, rain dripping off a knife, a really cute dog, explosions and a vomiting crab. Check it out.

SAVAGES (1974)

Straight-forward, Aaron Spelling-produced TV movie about a bloodthirsty lawyer who hires a young man to be his hunting guide out in the desert looking for ram and then once they out there he turns the table and starts hunting the young man! The film is well made and entertaining the entire way through, but the big attraction is the psycho is played by Andy Griffith! And, as expected, he does an excellent job. He was a sadistic asshole and by the end of the movie I wanted to punch him in the face and I love Andy Griffith!

I'm not going to ruin the story for you, but there was a few clever twists thrown in that I liked. If you can find a copy I say go for it. It's not the greatest thing ever made, but it's a solid film with a interesting take on an old story and the acting was great. The young man, played by Sam Bottoms, really puts his all into the role and some of those tumbles he took looked painful. I was also really surprised by the appearance of James Best who I've always thought was underrated and Noah Beery Jr. who's been in around 20,000 movies and TV shows give or take a few.

I'm not really sure about that title though since there's only one bad guy. And he's not really a savage as much as just a fucking psychopath.