Saturday, December 8, 2012

LAWLESS (2012)

Three "lawless" brothers run moonshine off in the deep woods during the Prohibition.  Being "lawless" they use nothing but child labor to run the stills and only use the tears of the children, instead of water, to make the shine.  They also pass the time by raping newborn puppies and squirrels...wait, what?  Oh, they're not that "lawless" after all?  Well shit.  The only laws these "lawless" criminals actually do disobey are the manufacturing & selling alcohol and then getting violent when they have to.

Enough  about the misleading title.  The real story is about three bothers who are just'a good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm, makin' their way the only way they know how but that's just a little bit more than the law will allow.  There's also some stuff about the different women in their lives, but it all goes exactly as you would expect.  Actually the entire film goes pretty much by the numbers.  Mild violence, pretty women, potentially epic story material told with a pathetically average script, good acting by supporting actor Dane DeHaan, pretty scenery and a disappointingly small role by Gary Oldman.  When I heard about this film I was imagining all kinds of exciting gun battles, old timey slang and ultraviolence with a breakneck pace, but instead LAWLESS just putters along and never really goes anywhere.  Worth a watch, but just barely.  I know I'll never watch it ever again.  If you need me I'll be in my room drinkin' some corn squeezin's