Thursday, January 31, 2013

BEAST COPS (1998)

This movie has a drugged to the gills Anthony Wong with a fucking machete sticking out of his shoulder running around beating people up.  That's it.  Review's over.  Go watch the movie.





What?

You're still here?!  Fuck.  I was wanting to go take a nap.  Alright, Anthony Wong (two years after his epic performance in EBOLA SYNDROME) is a crooked cop who's more gangster than cop.  He sleeps most of the day then parties, whores and gambles all night.  That is until he's given a new boss...who moves in with him!  So now Anthony is having all kinds of trouble, especially when the main gang underlord who keeps the peace between the gangs has to go on the run so now it pretty much an all out turf war with Wong stuck dead in the middle.

As far as 90's HK action flicks go BEAST COPS is one of my favorites, mostly due to Wong's balls out performance.  I don't know what it is about this guy but you can't take your eyes off him!  Lightning quick pace, insane action scenes, gritty camerawork BEAST COPS might look a little dated to younger viewers, but it's still a lot of fun.  Check it out!
 Skrillex?

 B&W, slow motion, rain and a flying dove all in the same shot.

LOOPER (2012)

In 2074 the mafia can't just go around killing people because "Tagging techniques, whatnot." make it nearly impossible to dispose of a body, so instead they send the living victim back in time 30 years to a pre-specified location where a paid assassin a.k.a. "Looper" immediately shoots them.  Why they just don't "zap" the victim back in time to the bottom of the ocean or the Earth's core I have no idea.  Maybe it has something to do with the location of the machine.

Anyway, one day when homeboys future self shows up in his Loop he fails to kill him(self).  This puts into motion all kinds of shenanigans including running around, shooting guns and yelling.  There's also a kid with psychic powers.  For a single watch LOOPER is mildly entertaining, but by the time it was over, I was definitely ready for it to be over.  Funky looking guns, distracting face make up on Gordon-Levitt, lens flares, futuristic cars that don't look very futuristic, weak story, boring action scenes.  Based on the trailer, I was really excited about this movie, but I just couldn't get into it.  The movie I saw in my head (before I actually watched it) was way better than the one that showed up on my TV.
Notice how these guys are dressed like the guy on the wanted poster and the little action figure below...

Saturday, January 26, 2013

HIGH RISK (1981)

Early 80's actioner about four Americans who think that it would be wise idea to fly down to South America and rob a drug lord (James Coburn) of 5 million dollars cash.  That makes absolutely no fucking sense, but whatever, I'll watch it.  Who knows? Maybe it'll be exciting...it's not.  HIGH RISK is about on the level of an "The A-Team" episode, except that it's 94 minutes long and you don't have the chemistry of the Hannibal and crew.

Within the first 25 minutes the four have arrived in Columbia and successfully stolen the money, but now comes the hard part: getting back to their plane.  Not only do they have the drug goons after them but they also have to fight the harsh environment and a trigger happy group of rebels lead by Anthony Quinn.

Bland action scenes, silly story, barely entertaining pace...my biggest question is how they hell did the filmmakers get such an impressive cast for what turned out to be a pretty mediocre story?  If you're into these type of films then you'll enjoy it, but it just wasn't my bag.  If you need me I'll be in my room watching COMMANDO.