Tuesday, August 23, 2016

MIAMI CONNECTION (1987)

It ain't no DEADLY PREY, but MIAMI CONNECTION is still an enjoyable "so bad it's good" low budget, lower talent 80's actioner about a club band, Dragon Sound, who get caught up in a war against the band that previously played at the club and a gang of cocaine running ninjas.  There's also some drama about the lone female's jealous brother and the keyboard players lost father.

As far as 80's action movies go, MIAMI CONNECTION is shitty, but time has actually been kind to it and watching it nowadays it's fun to laugh at the amateurish action scenes, the silly 80's fashions and just how upbeat these dorks are!  I don't know if there's a nitrous oxide at their house (yes, they all live together) or what, but these fuckers are always in a good mood.  At one point this one dude gets some good news in the mail, so the other four come running outside and begin carrying him around the front yard on their shoulders!  Who does that? 

Piss poor acting, goofy 80's fashions, an initial quick pace that actually slowed down as the film goes on, multiple unintentionally funny moments that you'll have to rewind and watch over, two musical numbers early on but then nothing for the remainder of the film, a guy and 20 of his closest friends picking his sister up at college, buns that are unlike the ones they make at the bakery, stupid cocaine, toe-to-nose kung fu, dismemberment, nudists for Jesus, bad lighting and some horrific topless scenes that left me wishing I was watching an Andy Sidaris flick instead.