Monday, April 23, 2018

MARK OF THE DEVIL (1970)

Long ago, in a town full of idiots and sadists lived the witchfinder, Albino.  For the last two years, Albino has engaged in a reign of terror, falsely accusing people of witchcraft for his own financial and sexual gains.  All of that comes crashing to an abrupt end when the prince unexpectedly sends in a new witchfinder, Lord Cumberland.  Unfortunately for the townsfolk...Cumberland is an even bigger dickneck than Albino!

Well, that sucks.  Almost as bad as this movie.  I remember seeing MARK OF THE DEVIL a few hundred years ago and thinking it sucked.  So, I watched it again for this review and it sucked even more than I remember it sucking.  It's definitely not the suckiest suck that ever did suck, it's just really boring!  The vast majority of the movie is annoyingly dubbed talking scenes and then when something finally does happen, it's either fake as hell looking or done offscreen.  Very little violence, a few lame tit scenes that were so poorly photographed that I didn't even bother taking screenshots, mannequins tied up and dropped into the fire, mediocre acting, irritating music that hurt my handsome brain, disappointing ending that made me want to dropkick the disc off the balcony.

Watch it if you want to, but I hope I never have to trudge through this snoozer ever again.  Skip it with a vengeance.

On a side note: during it's initial theatrical run, movie theaters gave out free promotional MARK OF THE DEVIL "sick bags" because the movie was supposedly so violence (I mean, it was "Rated V for Violence"!) that audience members risked barfing during the movie...if they had been more honest, they would have given out free MARK OF THE DEVIL pillows.  Amirite?  

Part 2 - Mark of the Devil Part II

Modern-day street sign covered up with a basket.