Monday, October 8, 2018

SATURN 3 (1980)

Way in the future, Earth is even more fucked up than it is now and depends on food research performed on research stations placed all over the solar system. One such research station is located on Saturn's third moon, Tethys (even though I don't remember it ever being called by name).  It's a small station and for the last three years, it's only been manned by Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett who, despite their age differences, have been banging.  A lot.  So much so, in fact, that haven't been getting enough work done and somebody is being sent to check in on them.  Unfortunately, that person is brutally murdered and then impersonated by the crazy as a shithouse rat Harvey Keitel...who happens to bring along his 8 foot tall robot buddy, Hector.  Also, for some nutty reason, Keitel has been doing mind melding experiments with Hector.  So, yeah, that's right, Hector the robot is also insane.

I love thrillers set in space, so once I figured out what the story was, I got pretty excited...and then disappointed when nothing happened.  Yeah, there's some running around and hiding and a little fighting, but the whole thing is very lightweight.

Mild violence, Harvey Keitel's voice dubbed over for the entire movie (!!!), okay looking sets, lots of smoke, very brief topless moment by Farrah, slow pace, zero gore, a few drops of blood, zero tension, lame ending, mediocre acting, uneven feel to the entire movie.  You'd think that a story about an 8 foot tall killer robot chasing people around isolated building in space would be exciting, but you'd be wrong.

From what I saw on the blu-ray extras and read online, the production of SATURN 3 was a mess.  The original director, John Barry, who also came up with the original idea, was dismissed early during filming and then died soon after!  He was replaced by SINGIN' IN THE RAIN director Stanley Donen (cause, you know, when you wanna cash in on the success of the previous years' horror masterpiece bring in "the King of the Hollywood musicals").  And to make matters worse, the production was scaled back due to financial difficulties with the production company, ITC Entertainment, who was simultaneously filming the legendary box office bomb RAISE THE TITANIC (it cost $40m and made $7m).  Honestly, I found the making of the film to be way more entertaining than the actual film itself.  I would love to see a well-researched full-length documentary about the making of SATURN 3.