Showing posts with label Paul Dano. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paul Dano. Show all posts

Thursday, January 31, 2013

LOOPER (2012)

2074.  The mafia can no longer go around killing people because of "Tagging techniques, whatnot." This makes it nearly impossible to dispose of a body, so instead they send the living victim back in time 30 years to a pre-specified location where a paid assassin a.k.a. "Looper" immediately shoots them.  Why they just don't "zap" the victim back in time to someplace deadly and horrible like the bottom of the ocean or the Earth's core or 10,000 feet in the air or a Will Smith movie marathon?  I have no idea.  Maybe it has something to do with the location of the machine.

Anyway, one day when the main character's future-self shows up in his "Loop" he fails to kill him(self).  This puts into motion all kinds of shenanigans including running around, shooting guns and yelling.  There's also a kid with psychic powers.  For a single watch LOOPER is mildly entertaining, but by the time it was over...I was definitely ready for it to be over.  Funky looking guns, distracting effects on Gordon-Levitt's face, lens flares, futuristic cars that don't look very futuristic, weak story, boring action scenes.

Based on the trailer, I was really excited about this movie, but I just couldn't get into it.  The movie I saw in my head (before I actually watched it) was way better than the one that showed up on my TV.
Notice how these guys are dressed like the guy on the wanted poster and the little action figure below? Kinda like in TIME BANDITS.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

COWBOYS & ALIENS (2011)

Hollywood cowboys vs. Hollywood aliens.

Cowboy Daniel Craig wakes up in the middle of nowhere. He has amnesia and some metal contraption clamped on his left wrist. Before he can even get his bearings, three scruffy looking dudes (who probably smell like poo-poo) ride up and start talking shit. Craig beats the crap out of them...so obviously, he knows how to fight. He then travels to the nearest town where it becomes apparent that he is a wanted criminal. After some more fighting, he's arrested and then while being loaded up into the paddy wagon...aliens attack!  During the attack the metal device on Craig's arm activates and he uses it to shoot down one of the alien vehicles. The next morning, Craig joins a posse and they head off in search of the aliens who kidnapped some people during the attack.

With a title like COWBOYS & ALIENS, I was expecting the film to be a little campy, like TREMORS, but instead C&A comes across like it almost wanted to be serious...I think. What do I know? But with the torture scene, the deaths, the alien experiments, the ominous lighting and the semi-gritty tone, I think the film was going for a serious mood. Even worse than the mixed tone signals is the slow pace. Jesus Christ, I was damn near going into a coma waiting for something to happen and then when it did...it was still boring!!! And who came up wit the idea of gold rustling, shell-less turtle aliens? What the fuck? Ahhhh, fuck it. Watch the movie if you want, it's not horrible, just completely lacking in imagination and cleverness. I could have written a better script than this soulless snoozer without even breaking a sweat.  It did have a great cast though.  If you need me I'll be in my room watching TREMORS and THE LAST STARFIGHTER.

One interesting thing the filmmakers could have done, but I guess it wasn't legally possible, was have Harrison Ford's character lose an alien artifact and then have Indiana Jones find it in the next Indy movie.