INSERTS (1974)

In 1930, a once great silent film director (Richard Dreyfuss) is down on his luck and reduced to filming pornos in his rundown Hollywood mansion. But he can't even do that right, because instead of just leaving the camera on the tripod (like the money man wants) Dreyfuss insists on moving the camera around to give it a more realistic feel. One morning while filming an especially energetic rape scene, the money man (Bob Hoskins) shows up unexpectedly with his new girl (Jessica Harper). Stuff happens and Harper is left alone with Dreyfuss...it's quite an eventfully day.

Before sitting down to watch INSERTS I had never even heard of this film, but it ended up being quite enjoyable and somewhat shocking for the sheer amount of nudity in it. Jessica Harper is pretty much topless in entire second half of the film! Not that I'm complaining, but I do want to complain a little bit about the complete lack of Extras on the DVD. It would've been nice to at least have an audio commentary, because now that I've seen the film I have a lot of questions about it including: What was the budget? Did it make any money? What exactly did United Artists expect from a film that takes place entirely in one room and consists of pretty much nothing but talking? How did this film even get made? Maybe because of the popularity of LAST TANGO IN PARIS? If it was filmed in 1974 why was it not released until 1976 and did it have anything to do with the popularity of JAWS? Was this story based in reality at all? Was the guy the "big cheese" they spoke of F. W. Murnau? What do the actors involved with the movie think of it now and how has it affected their career?

Should you watch INSERTS? I guess that really depends on your taste in films, but I recommend it. The story is interesting; it's cleverly written to lean towards the style of 1930's romantic comedies; all of the performances are excellent; a young Bob Hoskins; a young Veronica Cartwright; you get to see Richard Dreyfuss licking nipples and also because it's such a curious little film. I honestly can't think of anything else like it.

Is this the first occurrence of the word "cunt" in a big studio movie?

Is this the first occurrence of the word "boner-rama" in a big studio movie?

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE II (FULL SEQUENCE) (2011)

As you don't remember, I was bored to tears by the first HUMAN CENTIPEDE, so I had no intention of watching the sequel, but I got a few requests to review it so here it goes:

First off the film is a comedy. I wasn't expecting that at all, but the lightheartedness was welcome and breathed some life into the already stale story. Also it's shot entirely in B&W, which kinda threw me for a loop at the beginning, but I got over it quickly enough. If director Tom Six had been thinking a little bit more artistically he would had turned the film into colour (THE WIZARD OF OZ-style) at 1:03:55, then slowly decrease the colour towards the end, but he didn't so enough about that.

The story is about this hideously ugly dude who's a big fan of the first film and he wants nothing more in life than to have a human centipede of his own...so he can fuck it!  To gather people for the centipede he simple attacks everybody he comes in contact with and stores them in an old warehouse. The majority of his victims he collects at his job as a parking lot attendant. How he can get away with assaulting and kidnapping nearly everybody that walks by, I have no idea, but logic isn't what we're looking for here. What viewers of THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE II are looking for is balls to the wall gore and depravity. So does THC2 deliver? Kinda. It's pretty much what you would expect (forced surgery, shitting, teeth removal, etc.) but there were a few surprises. I don't want to give anything away, so I'll just say: barbwire, sandpaper, tongue and gas pedal.

Compared to the original, I actually like this one way better and really enjoyed that tubby crazy dude. He was awesome and you can't take your eyes off him! The film kinda reminded me of the first time I saw NEKROMANTIK back when I was a handsome teenager. Just for that alone I recommend it. Here's hoping they can keep the momentum going and Part 3 will be even more fucked.

Part 1 - The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009)
Part 3 - The Human Centipede III (Final Sequence) (2015)