Thursday, September 18, 2014

BLACK ROSES (1988)

The rock band Black Roses is planning a concert in the small Footloose-style town of Mill Basin.  The parents are up in an uproar, so they chaperone their (thirty-year-old) teenagers to the show, but once the band starts playing some weak, cheesedick power ballet they decide these guys are such a group of raging pussies that they can't possibly be a murderous pack of demons out to turn their kids into sex-crazed serial killers.  They leave and literally one second after the door closes, the lights go out and BAM! the lead singer is wearing a leather leotard/onesie with fucking cheetah fur on his crotch! Fuck yeah!!! The band immediately charges into a pathetic 12th rate hair metal rocker that, I guess, is suppose to be evil.

Fast forward a little bit and the teenagers are killing their parents, murdering the high school principal, littering and even necking in public! Full-time poetry teacher/part-time Tom Selleck impersonator, Mr. Moorhouse, has had enough of this bullshit, so he kicks the lead singer in the round tables then lights the band on fire. It's awesome.

If you're looking for a serious horror movie then skip it, but if you want something you can laugh at then BLACK ROSES fits the bill. I laughed until my buttcheeks hurt. From an artistic viewpoint, the movie isn't bad either.  Straightforward story, pearl necklaces, glowing demon hand, quick pace, goofy songs, four topless scenes, demon getting kicked in the demon nuts, Julie Adams, a DAWN OF THE DEAD poster, a SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE poster, an Iron Maiden shirt, a GOLDEN NEEDLES poster, an INNER SPACE poster, a LIPPS & McCAIN poster, demon choking on a tennis ball, two Lamborghini's, a TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 poster, fog machine, a Cro-Mags shirt, forum, forum, forum!

Recommended for fans of badass cheese horror.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

SEPTEMBER (1987)

Following a failed suicide attempt, Mia Farrow is holed away at her family's country home in Vermont.  As the film begins she has been there for a few months and summer is drawing to a close.  She longs to return to NYC and restart her life...her life with an aspiring writer (Sam Waterson) who has been renting the guest house.  Early in the summer they had drawn close and even made love, but now Sam is more interested in Mia's married visiting friend Dianne Wiest.  Added to this triangle is a neighbor, Denholm Elliott, who is in love with Mia.  And added on to that is Mia's mother and stepfather (Elaine Stritch and Jack Warden) dropping by for a visit.  Mia has a very strained relationship with her mother.

SEPTEMBER is not a happy film.  Anybody looking to see a funny Woody Allen movie will be disappointed in that respect, but they will be treated to a wonderfully written story filled with very flawed and very human characters.  And with only six principal characters and one-hundred percent of the events happening within the confines of the house, SEPTEMBER is structured like a play.  It's not often that you see a film made this way and I thought it was wonderful.  The most impressive thing about SEPTEMBER though is Mia Farrow's performance.  Absolutely heartbreaking.

Overall, it's not as impressive as INTERIORS, but I think INTERIORS was going more for the Bergman vibe while SEPTEMBER was going for the Chekhov vibe.  Either way it's triumph of filmmaking.  Highly recommended.