A NEW LEAF (1971)

[Update 7/23/18: Deleted all of the screenshots. New DVD came out. Going to redo this review completely, as soon as I find the time.  This review is horrible.  I hate it.]

Is it just me or doesn't Walter Matthau look like a Monkees-era Michael Nesmith in that poster?

The film opens with Matthau being informed that the money he inherited years ago is all gone and now he's flat broke. He goes to his uncle, who hates him, and begs for money. The uncle agrees to give him $50,000 in a wager that he can't find a rich woman to marry in 6 weeks. If he fails, Walter has to repay his uncle $5 million! Anyway, Walter finds the awkward (and rich) nerd Henrietta and starts speed-courting her...but will he get her to marry him in time? And will he resist his temptation to murder her? What the fuck?

There are a few scenes that I halfheartedly smiled at, but I never laughed once. Mainly because Walter's character was a spoiled asshole.  Henrietta was likable, but completely unbelievable. I understand that she's a lonely dork, but what does she see in Walter's character? He's a selfish prick.

A NEW LEAF is not that good of a movie. In fact, I found it boring and uneven. The uneven part makes sense, because I read that the original cut of the movie was over an hour longer and even had Matthau going around killing people! When the studio saw the finished product they trimmed it down into this forgettable mess.

THE WILD AND WONDERFUL WHITES OF WEST VIRGINIA (2009)

Where to even begin with this motherfucker?!  First off, it's currently 2020 and there still isn't a part 2 or a follow-up of any kind.  I find that to be extremely disappointing.  Honestly, I don't understand how there wasn't a TV show made about these crazy fuckers!

As the documentary begins, the audience is given a brief history of the White family and we're introduced to some of it's most notorious members.  During this time, it's explained, that while some of them do occasionally hold down jobs...most of them simply "hustle", deal drugs and steal to get by.  So...while they are entertaining to watch (from a safe distance), they're also a plague on the county they live in and society as a whole.

The White's initial claim to fame was decades ago when the father of the children in this film, D. Ray White, "invented" a clogging style of tap dancing that "nobody else could do".  By some bizarre twist of Fate, D. Ray was featured on a PBS special in the 1980's.  He was shot to death in 1985.  So now...20-plus years later, in 2008, filmmaker Julien Nitzberg and his crew visit the Whites off and on for a year and film literally hundreds of hours of footage, then somehow edit it down to 88 minutes, which, in my mind, is a mistake, because this film could have easily been three hours long.

As it is though, TWAWWOWV is the fastest 88 minutes in documentary history.  The time flies by and leaves you wanting more.  Each family member is more fucked and bizarre than the last.  It's an endless train wreck that I've watched many times and quote often.  "Dennis is this."

Make sure to watch the Extras on the DVD. There's one great scene where the husband of one of the White women is outside talking about the beauty of nature...while tossing beer bottles and trash off in the grass.  Then, for some drunken reason, he and his buddy moon the camera so deep you can see the one dudes complete ball sack, before driving off...still drunk, I assume.

Highly recommended.

NSFW screenshots

THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN'S CREEK (1944)

In the small town of Morgan's Creek, Trudy Kockenlocker goes to a farewell party to a bunch of soldiers. While dancing she hits her head on a disco ball and is knocked silly. The next morning she wakes up at home feeling like Hell, but that's just the beginning of it: she's pregnant and doesn't even know who the father is! Remember this is 1944! All she can remember is she thinks she married some guy named "Ratzkiwatzki" or something like that. Devastated by this news she doesn't know what to do so she devises a plan to quickly marry Norval Jones, who's been in love with her since he was a fetus, but when she sees how deeply he's in love she can't trick him like that so...well, I've already told you too much, but take my word for is this movie is hilarious. The first time I saw it I literally laughed until I was crying and my sides hurt so bad I thought I was going to puke.

From a filmmaker's standpoint TMOMC is notable for some great long shots, especially Trudy and Norval's walk when she tell him she's pregnant. It's nearly 4 minutes long and physically covers a lot of ground, but the audience probably never notices it because their too busy laughing at Norval's constant screaming. Also notice how those long scenes are only during the first half of the movie, later on as the excitement grows the shots become shorter and shorter, not to mention a lot more people show up until you have some great Sturges crowd scenes where you have five people talking at once and it's all funny.

I love this movie and cannot say enough things about it. Brilliant script and direction by a true Hollywood master and the acting! How did Eddie Bracken not get at least nominated for an Oscar for his role here? He was hilarious. And lets not forget Sturges normal actors...of his 38 frequent actors 22 were here. Most notable was William Demarest as Trudy's gruff father, Constable Edmund Kockenlocker.

I would really like to know if it's even possible for Hollywood to make a movie like this anymore? Made back in 1944 the story talks nonstop about sex and marriage, but yet it's completely clean language-wise and without any gross-out humor. Everything was done so subtly and so full of satire that it somehow got passed the Hays Office! I love crude humor as much as the next person, but I would be thrilled beyond belief if somebody started making clean screwball comedies like this today. Some of the comedies by Howard Hawks, Preston Sturges, Jack Conway, Frank Capra and Leo McCarey were so rich that I can watch them countless times and never get bored.  Highly recommended.

Funny story: In a interview with Eddie Bracken he said that he came up with the idea of Norval walking through the screen door and didn't tell Sturges, he just did it.  Preston was on the camera and started laughing so hard he actually fell out of his seat!