Wednesday, February 6, 2019

ROBOCOP (1987)

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

In the future things are all fucked up.  Crime is through the roof, corporations have taken over everything, cats and dogs are not living together, mass hysteria.  So, in order to gets things back under control (and therefore make themselves a lot of money), the Omni Consumer Products corporation (who own the Detroit Police Department and want to fully privatize Detroit into a manufactured municipality called "Delta City") comes up with the brilliant idea of taking a recently murdered cop, wiping his memories and turning him into a crime fighting zombie/robot.

That works out well for a minute.  The new "RoboCop"goes around (in the high point of the film) kicking criminal ass (and even shooting one guy in the dick!), but then his memories start to resurface and things go south.  At the same time, there's a power struggle among the OCP executives that spills over into violence on the streets, since one of the biggest criminal kingpins in town is protected and funded by one of the scumbags on the OCP board.

For an 80's action flick, ROBOCOP is entertaining enough.  The violence leans more towards being gratuitous in a black comedy/social commentary sort of way, than it does in being a straight-forward action movie.  I'm sure there's some kind of social message in there somewhere (probably about how giant corporations are bad, m'kay?), but I really don't care.  I'm just here to be entertained.

Solid acting by a strong cast, good pace that lags some in the middle, a Metallica poster, some dude buying that for a dollar, portion of a song by a Ministry side-project (P.T.P), RoboCop getting kicked in the RoboNuts, a David Lee Roth poster, a few hyperquick tits that weren't even worth taking screenshots of, some blood, a cocaine bottling machine that looked like it was dumping 40% of the coke onto the floor, a poster for the Cure, bitches leaving, explosions.

Worth a watch, but I'd really love to see an extremely dark and ultraviolent remake with less troubled memories drama and more killing the fuck out of bad guys action.  If you need me, I'll be in my room doing a Flip Six Three Hole while watching STARSHIP TROOPERS.  Would you like to know more?

Part 2 - RoboCop 2
Part 3 - RoboCop 3
Remake - RoboCop (2014)

Tuesday, February 5, 2019


"Every damn day."

A unidentified murderer with 2 pounds of stolen diamonds is on the run. He's headed to Canada (through Washington), but when the road is blocked by coppers, he goes off road, kills a man and takes his place in a guided hiking/fishing trip that just happens to headed near the United States/Canadian border.  Unbeknownst to the the murderer, the FBI is hot on his trail.  They don't know the guys identity (meaning they can't go crashing in on the fishing party and risk having him slaughter everybody), so instead, they send in 61-year-old city slicker Sidney Poiter to go trampling through endless miles of harsh Washington wilderness in winter.  Also along for the ride is local guide Tom Berenger, who also just happens to be the boyfriend of the guide (Kirstie Alley) on the fishing trip.

That sounds convoluted, but it makes more sense when you watch the film, which I recommend you do.  It's not a life changer or anything, but SHOOT TO KILL a fun solid late 80's actioner that relies more on tension and character development than it does on punching people through windows and driving a motorcycle into a helicopter (hum...maybe I should go watch STONE COLD tonight!).

Good acting, just the correct amount of humor to be delightful and not irritating, a moose, steady pace, okay direction, beautiful scenery, excellent cast, abrupt ending, a bear, zero nudity, very little blood, zero gore, a piece of carrot cake for 95 cents, a dummies legs getting crunk after being thrown off a cliff, a horse giving the stinkeye.

There is definitely some things that could have been done to improve the film, but as it is, it's still a satisfying afternoon waster.  Recommended.