THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (1956)

For those of you who don't know, the Ten Commandments are ten rules listed in the Christian Bible that it says humans should live by.  A few of them make sense like "Thou shalt not kill." (yeah, no shit!) and "Thou shalt not commit adultery.", but others like "...the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates..." are just silly.

Anyway, although the title of the film is THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, there's actually very little Commandments action going on.  Nope, the vast majority of the movie is about a dude named Moses.  Moses was born in Egypt way the fuck back in the day.  Around the time that he's hatched there was a prophecy that a great deliverer would be born to lead the slaves out of bondage.  So, the guy who owned all of slaves, the evil Pharaoh puts out a decree that all newborn male slave children shall be murdered.  Goddamn!  Moses' mother places lil' baby Moses in a basket and sends him afloat down the Nile river.  As Fate would have it, within one minute of being yeeted into the Nile, the evil Pharaoh's adult daughter (of all people) finds Moses and raises him as her own child.  Awww.  The End.

Oh sorry, that's actually just the beginning of the film!  Moses soon grows up to look like Charlton Heston and it's down to him and the Pharaoh's legitimate son, Yul Brynner, as to who will take over once the Pharaoh dies.  Things are looking pretty good for Moses, but then he fucks up and before you can say "I really wish Twenty One Pilots would cover Phil Collins' 'One More Night'" Moses is now a slave himself!  What the fuck?  Talk about a rags to riches and back to rags again story.

For being an older film THE TEN COMMANDMENTS is still very entertaining.  Yeah, it's as historically accurate as DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?, but who cares.  Solid acting by an impressive cast (I think Anne Baxter is the highlight of the movie), great sets, an insanely huge amount of extras, animals all over the place, wildly imaginative story, badass costumes, strong direction, groundbreaking special effects and a quick pace that makes the 220 minute runtime fly by.  I've seen TTC a few times over the years and I'd gladly watch it again right now.  My only real gripe is the ten plagues of Egypt stuff is passed over way too quickly.  It shows a little bit about water turning into blood and the hail storm, but it completely skips over the frogs and boils and locust!  Lame.  Still, it's easily worth multiple watches.  Check it out.

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944)

"I couldn't hear my own footsteps.  It was the walk of a dead man."

Walter Neff (Fred MacMurray) has a pretty swell life.  He has a cush job as an insurance salesman (semiannual sales record..twice in a row!), he has a cozy apartment and a nice car.  Then his life is turned completely upside-down when he's introduced to Phyllis Dietrichson (Barbara Stanwyck).  An outwardly beautiful woman with the soul of a bull shark.  From the very second they lay eyes on each other, it's fireworks!  I love that first scene with them alone together.  There's so much rapid fire double entendres and shit-talking going back and forth, that I couldn't do anything but sit there grinning like a fool, jealous of the brilliant dialogue written by screenwriters Billy Wilder and Raymond Chandler.

Anyway, without him even knowing it, from that very first meeting, Phyllis has her claws sunk into Walter's soul and he's doomed.  He tries to play it cool, but then, when she finally admits that she not only wants his help in murdering her husband, but in also setting up an expensive accident insurance policy on him, Walter topples like a house of cards.  He sacrifices his entire life over some sex...but then again, isn't that the short history of humanity?

DOUBLE INDEMNITY is considered a landmark in American cinema and justifiably so.  At the time it came out, there was pretty much nothing like it in regards to the way it looked (darkness everywhere; dust in the air; the shadows of the Venetian blinds going across Walter to look like prison bars, etc.) and the absolute sordid behavior of the lead characters, especially Phyllis Dietrichson.  She's evil through and through.  Just look at her face while her husband is being brutally murdered.  That subtle look of gratification that goes beyond sexual pleasure and into malevolence is extremely disturbing.  And that's really saying a lot about the acting abilities of Barbara Stanwyck (at least to me, because I think that she is the most beautiful woman to ever grace the silver screen).  She's gorgeous, but at the same time completely repulsive.

Fast pace, venomous dialogue, perfect acting, interesting Los Angeles locations, deep shadows, psychosexual themes, costume design by Edith Head, a Raymond Chandler sighting, extremely influential photography that is still being copied today.  Plus...it has the immortal line "They know more tricks than a carload of monkeys." Holy shit!  Hahaha!

I could go on for hours about DOUBLE INDEMNITY, but I'll just cut it short and say that it is required viewing by every classic movie fan.

Fun fact: Edward G. Robinson was was the original singer for Alice in Chain's song "Rooster". "You know he ain't gonna die...yeah, seeeeeee!" True story.

Raymond Chandler (seated)