Thursday, December 26, 2013

ROCKY IV (1985)

"If he dies, he dies."

USA!  USA!  USA!!!  That's right comrades, this is the Rocky where those dirty Russians send their top athlete, Ivan Drago, over to America to pound every last drop of patriotic blood out of anybody who's stupid enough to step into the ring with him.  And because he's such a badass, he wants to skip all the preliminary stuff and go directly into a championship bout with Rocky!  That's out of the question, so instead Apollo Creed agrees to an exhibition match to see what this Ruskie's got.  And apparently he's got a lot, because in the second round...he beats Creed to death!!

Fueled by revenge and patriotic fervor, Rocky agrees to fight Drago...in Russia!!!  One advantage that Rocky has over Drago is his ghetto workout area.  For pretty much the entire series, whoever has the most rundown, shitty-looking workout area wins the big fight.  So while Drago is over here using computers and new-fangled equipment, Rocky is training in a functioning barn complete with cow farts, rocks, ropes, fire and a log.

1985 was a great year for Sylvester Stallone.  Not only did he make the greatest Rambo movie of all time (RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II), but he also made what is arguably the most enjoyable Rocky movie of all time.  Even in 1985 money, ROCKY IV still made nearly double what ROCKY BALBOA did in 2006 money!  Yes, it's just formulaic propaganda, but it's so awesomely 80's you can't help but get all pumped up while watching it.  Highly recommended.

If there’s ever a course in film school called "How to Montage the Fuck Out of Your Movie", ROCKY IV will be shown on day one.

Part 1 - Rocky (1976)
Part 2 - Rocky II (1976)
Part 3 - Rocky III (1982)
Part 5 - Rocky V (1990)
Part 6 - Rocky Balboa (2006)
Part 7 - Creed (2015)
Part 8 - Creed II (2018)

ROCKY III (1982)

This is the one with Mr. T in it.

After winning the championship at the end of Part II, Rocky goes on to defend his crown numerous times.  At the same time, a brutal up-and-comer (Mr. T as Clubber Lang) has been climbing the ranks.  With tons of money in the bank and some serious health issues, Rocky decides to retire.  This doesn't site well with the new top contender: Lang.  Lang starts talking so much shit that Rocky agrees to fight him.  Stuff happens and who else but Apollo Creed comes to help Rocky train for the big showdown with Mr. T.

Artistically it might not be up the the standards of the first Rocky film, but as far as entertainment goes III is a lot of fun.  Mr. T plays a great bad guy, the charity match with wrestler Hulk Hogan is awesome, the training with Apollo makes you wanna dropkick the TV and go run up and down the beach until your lungs explode and that ending ohhh sheeeiiiiitttt!!!  This movie has the eye of the tiger like a motherfucker!

Part 1 - Rocky (1976)
Part 2 - Rocky II (1979)
Part 4 - Rocky IV (1985)
Part 5 - Rocky V (1990)
Part 6 - Rocky Balboa (2006)
Part 7 - Creed (2015)
Part 8 - Creed II (2018)