CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE (1992)

A reporter and his teenage son are innocently driving through the backwoods of Nebraska when they happen upon the aftermath of the Gatlin massacre (a.k.a. the events of the first film). As any American law professor can tell you, the punishment for teenagers killing "fifty plus" people is...to be immediately adopted by the citizens of the next town over. So, our murderous band of bustas are bused to Hemingford where they start murder-death-killin' a new whole batch of oldz. It's not all bad news bears though, cuz while the entire population of Hemingford is being openly slaughtered, the father and the son both find time to boink females. Nice.

It's been (not nearly enough) years since the wretched A RETURN TO SALEM'S LOT assaulted my handsome eyeballs with its shittiness, but I kinda remember it having the same plot. A single dad and his teenage son argue a lot and get stuck in a small town taken over by evil people. The dad and the son still have time to bang local women. Eventually, the survivors band together (in boring ways) and defeat evil before driving away as the Sun rises.

I haven't seen CHILDREN OF THE CORN II: THE FINAL SACRIFICE since seeing it in the theater back in '93 and it was actually better than I remembered it being. Steady pace that kept the story going forward, a few fun kills (the nosebleed church dude was awesome!), vintage clothing, pretty farmland locations, good enough acting, satisfying ending (even if it was weak as fuck).

Overall, CHILDREN OF THE CORN II is a fun throwback to those mid-level, weak ass horror movies that sucked back in the day but are enjoyable now in a nostalgic way.

This has nothing to do with the review, but the evil teenagers from BLACK ROSES would beat the snot out of these Children of the Corn dorks. Just sayin'. [Update 12/25/2025: the more I think about this idea, the more I'd like to see a remake where the evil Corn Kids get shipped to Mill Basin and a huge gang war breaks out between the two evil kid gangs.]

[This also has nothing to do with the review, but if anybody is confused about the tagline on the poster saying, "These children are home alone, too", it's because this movie was in the theater at the same time as HOME ALONE 2. It's just a really bad joke. Proof.]

Part 1 - Children of the Corn (1984)
Part 3 - Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
Part 4 - Children of the Corn: The Gathering (1996)
Part 5 - Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998)
Part 6 - Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)
Part 7 - Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001)
Part 8 - Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011)
Part 9 - Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)
Remake - Children of the Corn (2009)

TRESPASS (1992)

Two honky firemen (William Sadler and Bill Paxton) from Crackersville, Arkansas come across a treasure map showing the location of some stolen gold. Problem is the gold is hidden in a factory in East St. Louis which is long closed and now included in the stomping grounds of a violent gang led by King James (Ice-T). But, eh, they being normal peckerwoods and, eh, on a treasure hunt, well they were not going to let a gang of homicidal killers spoil the events of their afternoon. On a day out. It was a day out they were going to remember for a very long time.

TRESPASS is probably one of the most straight-forward 1990’s action movies of all time. There’s zero build-up, zero character introduction, zero flashbacks or side stories, zero sex, zero females, nothing. (Hell, goddamn DEADLY PREY had more story than this movie!) Not that I’m complaining. I actually found the entire wham, bam thank you ma’am (or mx or sir or sirma) approach to be amusing. The film kinda feels like reading a no frills, action-packed short story. I'm surprised there hasn't been a remake.

Solid acting, lots of dramatic pulling out of cell phone antennas (that actually might make a good drinking game), vintage slang, vintage cars and fashions, zero CGI, impressive lower budget stunts, zero nudity. TRESPASS isn’t the height of action cinema or anything, but the first two acts still hold up all these years later. The third act? Not so much. It falls off the rails pretty had during the last 30 minutes or so. Still, it’s always fun to watch Bill Paxton freaking out. That alone is worth watching the movie.

Recommended for all fans of older action movies. Double-feature with JUDGEMENT NIGHT.

Oh yeah, this has nothing to do with the review, but while looking for newspaper ads I noticed that this film was released on Christmas Day, 1992. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? No wonder it didn't even make it's budget back at the box office.

Now this really, really has nothing to do with the movie, but I was curious about East St. Louis (yes, I know the movie was actually filmed in Atlanta and Memphis), so I started driving around East St. Louis on Google Maps and I found this legendary pothole. I just wanted to share. Imagine hitting that motherfucker late at night in a rain storm!