RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 (1993)

Twenty-four-year-old teenagers Julie and Curt are just so in love it makes you wanna puke. Julie especially loves Curt’s big, throbbing security card that he stole from his military father. They use the card to observe a poorly secured Top Secret experiment involving zombies. Watching dead humans getting chopped up and shot in the head gets Julie all worked up so they go back to Curt’s crib to boink. During said boink session, Julie gets topless and cannot stop talking about the anguish of the dead. This kills Curt’s nerd boner and he takes out his frustrations by arguing with his father. Afterwards, Curt shows off his lack of motorcycle driving skills by launching Julie into a utility pole. She ded and Curt’s still horny so he sneaks her warm cadaver back into the military base and pumps her...full of 2-4-5 Trioxin gas. Bad idea.

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 3 might have "Return of the Living Dead" in the title, but outside of the corpses in the 2-4-5 Trioxin gas barrels there’s really no connection to the original film at all. Which sucks because the original is one of the most imaginative and fun zombie movies of all time. That said, the first half of this film is actually a lot of fun. Especially the chase scenes after Julie’s reanimation. (Is it my imagination or is the convenience store scene very well written and presented?) Unfortunately, the second half of the movie just bogs down and doesn’t go anywhere. Although Julie’s transformation was pretty bad ass.

Long story short, ROTLD3 is a fun throwback time capsule to a more innocent time in the horror movie world. It’s not a great film, but there are certain aspects about it that are great. So, that said, if you got an open mind about such things then it’s worth checking out. Honestly, an expanded novelization of this story with be fantastic and super fun to read.

P.S. That old Ministry poster is awesome!

Part 1 - The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Part 2 - Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)
Part 4 - Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)
Part 5 - Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)

JUICE (1992)

"Yo, chill!"
"Yo, fuck chill!"

Four male New York City high schoolers don’t spend much (if any) time in school, but instead walking the streets, shoplifting, hanging out at the local pool room / arcade and watching TV at home. One of the dudes, who seems to have a little bit more ambition than the others, is excited to take part in a local DJing contest, but things turn to shit when one of the crew bullies the other three into taking part in an armed robbery.

For an early 1990’s coming of age / morality play, JUICE is pretty good. It’s dated as fuck, rough around the edges, overly simplistic and nowhere near as violent as you would hope…but the acting is strong enough to make it an entertaining watch. Except for that goofy ending. So, thank Satan for blu-rays because if you watch the extras you’ll see an interview with writer / director Ernest R. Dickerson where he explains that the dopey scream at the end was demanded by the studio. Plus, the extras include a rough cut of the scene as it was depicted in the original screenplay. It’d be nice if the scene was mastered and included in the actual film, but nope. The movie still has the same weak ass ending it had back in 1992. Lame.

One interesting thing I did notice while re-visiting the film is the media store where they go to shoplift albums has a copy of TERROR EYES! What the fuck? That’s kinda awesome. TERROR EYES isn’t a great film, but that VHS cover is beyond awesome. Another odd thing is JUICE didn’t feature any songs by Tupac Shakur. Which is weird when you think about it because his image is very prominent on the soundtrack cover. Yes, I understand it is his character and not Tupac the rapper. Still, how many musical albums can you think of that feature a musical artist’s image on the cover, but don’t include that person (or persons) on the album itself? Maybe a lot, what the fuck do I know.

Anyway, JUICE is dated, but it’s still a fun trip back to the early 1990’s. I just wish the violence had been amped up more. Oh yeah, the movie they're watching on TV is 1949's WHITE HEAT with James Cagney. Great movie.