MAD LOVE (1935)

Dr. Peter Lorre is smart as a bitch when it comes to medical shit, but hella cray when it comes to romance. So much so that he has a life-size wax replica of his favorite actress, Frances Drake, in his crib and each night he plays sweet slow jamz to it on his organ. That’s fairly harmless in a mentally unbalanced sort of way, but Fate has a monkey turd up its sleeve when Drake’s husband, the famous ivory-tickler Colin Clive, has his hands crushed in a train wreck.  Lorre is called in to perform a medical miracle by repairing Clive’s hands, but in reality, he secretly replaces Clive’s dickbeaters with those of a recently decapitated serial killer!  Sinister shenanigans ensue.

For a movie that's older than yer great-grandpappy's ballsack MAD LOVE is still moderately creepy, but for whatever reason, it's only 68 minutes long.  I mean, 68 minutes is definitely enough time to tell a story, but right when the movie felt like it was picking up pace..it ends!  And abruptly too.  Shit's popping off, Lorre's snarling like a maniac, Drake's fearing for her life, Clive's freaking out over his murdermittens and...The End.  It was strange.  I was totally expecting another 20 minutes or so.

Still, even with the stunted runtime, MAD LOVE is an entertaining film and 100% worth watching for classic horror fans.  Quick pace, solid direction by Karl Freund (who was the cinematographer for METROPOLIS and DRACULA), neat sets that (sadly) weren't featured enough onscreen, dramatic lighting, cinematography by Gregg Toland (who would go on to win an Oscar for WUTHERING HEIGHTS then work on some movie called CITIZEN KANE), impressive supporting cast (including Keye Luke and Ian Wolfe who both have insane filmographies lasting into the 1990's!), a ghoulish story and best of all...the three leads were all great.  Recommended.

THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS (1946)

A wealthy piano player lives in a remote Italian village with a bunch of servants and hangers-on circling around him day and night.  He seems to be in love with his new nurse, but she has the hots for his best friend.  Things happen slowly until finally the piano player dies in an accident.  His relatives object to the will leaving his vast estate to the nurse. Soon after, strange things start to happen like the piano playing in the middle of the night, the dead body's left hand getting cut off and his turncoat lawyer being strangled to death.  Could it be that the dead body's hand has came back from the dead and is attacking anybody who contests his will?!  Not likely.

THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS goes nowhere.  The story takes too long to get moving and once it does you're like "That's it?"  And that ending!  The final act drags on and on for until you're begging the movie to end and once it finally does...there's a joke ending!!!  It's like the filmmakers had zero faith in their product so they just slapped on a goofy ending as an apology or something.  I don't know. 

I like Peter Lorre and I had hopes that TBWFF was going to be like 1935's MADLOVE, but nah it was boring through and through.  I've seen commercials with a more compelling story.  Skip it.