COLORS (1988)

"Fucking vato psycho loco, homes."

Los Angeles, California. A newer cop (Sean Penn) is teamed up with a veteran cop (Robert Duvall).  Together they protect the citizens of Los Angeles by breaking all kinds of laws and doing pretty much anything they want.  Including spray painting a teenager in the face and watching an unarmed (naked) man get shot in the back.  By time the film was over I wasn't sure if they had actually done anything productive or were just another participant in the gang war.  Maybe that was the point of the story.

As far as older police/street gang movies go, COLORS is extremely dated...but honestly, it was dated the day it came out.  I don't think Damon Wayans A capella rapping "checkin' out slobs / that is our job...G ridin in the van / with my main man" could've ever be taken seriously.  Dated or not, COLORS is still an entertaining watch for fans of 1980's crime films.

Medium pace, uneven direction (by Dennis Hopper of all people), tons of familiar faces, lots of cool Los Angeles locations (including the rebel hideout from V: THE FINAL BATTLE and a bad ass movie theater showing AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION, DIRTY WAR and STREET SMART!), zero big awesome action scenes, vintage cars, vintage clothes, solid acting, interesting variety of music (including Los Lobos, War, Ice-T, Eric B & Rakim, Big Daddy Kane and others), a few quick drive-bys, Damon Wayans air humping a large stuffed rabbit doll, unsatisfying ending, multiple continuity errors, quick nudity, a brief Candyman sighting and some truly thought-provoking dialogue.  Including this memorable exchange...

Gang member: "Well, fuck you man.  I don't wanna stop nothing!"
Cop: "Hey, fuck you.  You little stupid fucking asshole."
Gang member: "Well, fuck you back man!"

That's a fucking Hallmark moment right there.  Or maybe I should quote the guy from I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA: "The man's a Shakespeare!" Anyway, COLORS. Good movie and kind of original for its time, but it doesn't hold up to some of the street gang classics that would come just a few years later.

[Update 08/31/2021: Watching 1973's ROBIN HOOD on Disney+ as I edit older reviews and the Sheriff of Nottingham just sang the line "They call me a slob, but I do my job."  That's very similar to the line Damon Wayans rapped in this film.  Guess it's a small world after all.]

THE ROCK (1996)

A disgruntled general and a bunch of military dudes take over Alcatraz Island.  They lock all of the tourists in cells and then threaten to kill everybody in San Francisco with a deadly chemical gas (launched on missiles) unless they get 100 million dollars.  That sounds like the set-up for a fairly entertaining film: highly trained dudes in a highly fortified position, super badass dudes gotta sneak in and rescue the day...but then you see the credit "Directed by Michael Bay" and you know that you're gonna get all of that plus loads of crazy, illogical, fucked-up silliness.  Exotic cars, wailing guitars, explosions on top of other explosions, a ridiculous car chase, people barking orders, manly camera angles, patriotism overload, the Sun, helicopters, military jets...and then you add on Nicholas Cage's patented overacting!!! Wow!  That's a surefire recipe for entertainment.  Entertainment like a motherfucker!!

In order to sneak into Alcatraz, the FBI forcefully recruits escape artist/ex-spy Sean Connery (the only man to have successfully snuck out of Alcatraz) to lead a group of Navy SEALS and FBI chemical weapons nerd Nicholas Cage into "the Rock".

Even all these years later THE ROCK is still an entertaining ride.  Dumb story, impressive cast, fast pace, worried girlfriend looking all worried, Sean Connery channeling James Bond, a runaway coal mine cart chase.  Recommended.

If you think about it, it's kinda funny because Michael Biehn and Ed Harris' roles from THE ABYSS are now reversed: now it's Harris who is the bad guy and Biehn is the good guy. Also, I'm kinda surprised they haven't remade this with Dwayne Johnson in it.