"I'm in Garland, Texas. It may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's
actually just Garland."
This movie was disappointing. I watch a lot of zombie movies and read a lot of
zombie novels (go buy "The Rising" by Brian Keene right now) and for some stupid
reason I actually thought, based on the trailer and word-of-mouth, that this
movie was going to have some badass, high-budget zombie action in it. Instead,
ZOMBIELAND is a poorly written story about a dweeb, a semi-hot chick, the
semi-hot chick's little sister and Woody Harrelson on a road trip across America
after the zombie apocalypse.
My biggest problem with the movie are the lame jokes. I have no problem with a
comedy set in the zombie world (THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
is one of my favorite movies of all time), but at least be funny! My second
biggest problem is the lack of zombies. For a world taken over by zombies
there's not many of them around. At the very beginning there's a little zombie
action, but it's silly and played off more as a lame joke. It's like the zombies
are just a nuisance instead of an actual threat. Then, for a long period in the
middle there's only probably 6 zombies for like 45 minutes. Another problem here
is how smug and slick this movie thought it was with the high speed camera
action shots and the annoying "Rules" popping up all over the joint non-stop.
They thought they were being clever, but after the 5th time it was just
annoying.
I give the movie a little credit for at least trying, but it's still a failure.
It felt like the filmmakers were trying to cash in on the zombie fad without
actually being zombie fans...kinda like Christian music is always a
watered-down, soulless rip-off of popular music. If you want my advise, just
skip this dead duck and watch
INFESTATION
instead. I actually like that movie: the geek endearing, the story was
interesting, the action was more entertaining and the hot chick was way hotter.
Plus, there was a spider-dog!
Part 2 - Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)