DEATH SHIP (1980)

Fuck this old turd of a movie. I remember getting burned by this piece of shit back in the 1980’s, when your mom would only let you pick one (maybe two) movies to rent to last you the entire weekend…and that cover looked so goddamn wicked with the crusty old ship with the ghost face, so you get the movie home and it fucking blows! Like, literally nothing happens for the entire movie! A cruise ship is hit in the middle of the night by a haunted ship; a few boring survivors climb off a raft onto the death ship and that’s it. They just walk around looking at spider webs and empty hallways for the rest if the movie. It was Hell. And your entire weekend was ruined! Why didn’t I just rent HALLOWEEN II or TIME BANDITS again instead?! I was so stupid when I was a little kid. Idiot. I hate young me.

Fast-forward however many hundred years it’s been since 1983 and I rent the fucking movie again! Surely, it's better now that I'm a handsome adult with a girthy, veiny, pulsating brain to think with. Annnd...I swear to Satan, it’s even worse now that it was back then! How did this movie even get made? There’s three writers listed in the credits, but there isn’t a story.  Is there an actual script for this movie somewhere or did they just film some actors walking around a ship and then cobble it into a movie?

Watch it if you want. I don't give a fuck what you do. I'm ashamed to admit that I've watched this movie twice in my life. How embarrassing. That cover art is dope though. Maybe I should watch it again just to make sure.

Side note: while the movie is a complete turd, it was interesting to see George Kennedy and Richard Crenna in action. I think a lot of my anger for this movie still comes from it pissing me off so bad (with its boredom) as a kid.

THRASHIN' (1986)

Amateur skateboarder Josh Brolin is working his way to becoming a pro by competing in different skateboarding competitions around Los Angeles. At the same time, he starts seeing a girl only to find out that she’s the sister of his biggest rival. It really is a small world after all.

Watching THRASHIN' back in the 1980’s, it was just another teen-oriented film that was mildly entertaining thanks to the quick pace and interesting Los Angeles scenery. Personally, I was also intrigued by the various fashions (including band t-shirts for everybody from JFA to Siouxsie and the Banshees), the giant movie poster for THE HITCHER and Pamela Gidley’s awesome hair. Re-watching it now for this review, I still enjoyed that stuff, but I also noticed that this movie has something in common with the film LADY TERMINATOR! Just like LT, THRASHIN’ also features a still photograph earlier in the film of an event that happens later on in the film itself! How bizarre. This time around it’s one of Brolin’s buddies. There is a photo tacked to the wall…of him at the big race that takes place at the end of the movie. Same clothes and everything.

I doubt that THRASHIN’ is gonna change your life or anything, but it’s an enjoyable enough film. Very simple with almost no story, yet it still has a certain nostalgic charm to it.

Pointless trivia: THRASHIN' director David Winters also directed the 1979 SHAMPOO clone RACQUET.

Even further pointless trivia: Out of the current 29 RACQUET photos that IMDb has placed ads on on their site, 25 of them come from my ad-less review. Nice. Glad that my work can help you make money.