OMEN III: THE FINAL CONFLICT (1981)

After the impressive first Omen film and the even more enjoyable second film, the people behind the Omen series decide to pour unholy goat piss all over the entire thing by releasing a severely disappointing third and “final” installment.

As our lackluster story begins, Damien Thorn is now an adult and fully committed to being an evil butthole. For example: he has a life-size replica of Jesus Christ in his house that he talks shit to.  Doesn’t get much more evel, I mean, evil than that!  So anyway, while Damien is going around preparing to take over the World, the Jesus lovers find 7 super badass knives that are the only thing in the Universe that can kill the Antichrist.  Naturally, they send out some weakass nerds, who couldn’t beat up Benji the Hunted, to assassinate Damien. Boredom ensues.

The idea of the antichrist is one of the coolest things about Christianity and in the proper hands it could be the basis for thousands of awesome stories.  Unfortunately, THE FINAL CONFLICT isn’t one of those stories.  Sam Neill does give a good performance as Damien Thorn, but he doesn’t have anything to work with.  The story is beyond boring.  Honestly, I want to see more stories about Damien in high school!

Slow pace, zero nudity, minor blood, zero gore, zero tension, zero cool deaths, the word "Mephistophticles" not even used once, average acting, extremely disappointing ending.  Omen 3 is worth watching if you’ve already seen the first two films in the series and are a completionist.  Other than that, just skip this Satanic turkey and never look back.

Part 1 - The Omen (1976)
Part 2 - Damien: Omen II (1978)
Part 4 - Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
Remake 1 - The Omen (2006)
Prequel - The First Omen (2024)

COMPUTERCIDE (1982)

The 1996 of DEMOLITION MAN might have been a crime-filled shithole, but, in COMPUTERCIDE, 1996 is a crime-free paradise filled with weird, funky cars. And since all crimes are solved by computers there is very little use for private detectives. Enter our hero: starving private detective Michael Stringer. While finishing up a missing dog case, he’s contacted by a woman, Lisa, to investigate the death of her father. The computers didn’t find any foul play, but she suspects something is amiss since the dead version of her father is 20 years younger than her real father! Now they must go undercover (as a couple) to the cult-like housing community where her dad lived.

For a lower-budget film made in 1977 and not released until 1982, COMPUTERCIDE is okay. I was able to get through it easy enough. Still, it was rough around the edges and the script didn’t have enough going for it to keep the incredibly handsome viewer engaged. Lackluster acting, bland sets, bland clothing, bland colours, below average pace, unfunny humor, music that didn’t match the scenes, better cast than the script deserves. The title shown on the version I watched for this review called the film FINAL EYE, but all of the television listings I found for August 1, 1982 listed the movie as COMPUTERCIDE. One journalist even suggested that NBC only aired “…this unsold pilot dating back to 1977.” because ABC was airing ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE during the same time slot. I personally like the title COMPUTERCIDE much better and foolishly thought this movie was going to be about either an evil computer killing people in a high-rise skyscraper, a murderous electronic kid’s toy or maybe even somehow an evil computer dating service!

As it is though, COMPUTERCIDE is an interesting television novelty that nerds like myself would find interesting. Everybody else would probably be bored to sleep within 15 minutes.

NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER (1980)

Despite the vast majority of the movie taking place during the daytime, NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER is the mildly entertaining story about a lunatic (Cliff Gorman) who plans on kidnapping the daughter of a wealthy family in exchange for a big payout, but instead (since he’s also a moron) he accidentally kidnaps the daughter of a truck driving ex-cop (James Brolin) who might actually be more insane that the kidnapper! The kidnapping takes place early on in the film in broad daylight, so now the rest of the movie is simply Brolin running around New York City pissing off everybody and acting like an asshole.

Car chases, foot chases, a fight in a peep show joint, Mandy Patinkin as a cab driver, Dan Hedaya as a psychotic cop who wants to murder Brolin, a small amount of gunfire, steady pace, a few interesting (but ultimately disappointing) scenes filmed at the old legendary 42nd Street, a few quick glimpses of female nudity, at least 3 instances of the a boom mic dipping down into the scene, a fight scene set in a darken tunnel, a couple of scenes set in a devastated area of NYC that looks like it had been recently bombed, good acting, disappointing finale and abrupt ending.

Overall, NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER is a watchable film, but I’d really love to see a gritty, hyper-violent  remake and a well-made documentary about the making of the 1980 film that also delves into the history of the NYC shown in the movie. Oh yeah, the film is also based on an original 1975 novel (of the same name) by William P. McGivern, but I never read it. Sounds interesting though!

For other films kinda based on similar themes check out HIGH AND LOW and I SAW THE DEVIL.