THE LAST DRAGON (1985)

Leroy Green, known around town as Bruce Leroy, is a peace-loving young man who has dedicated his life to being the best martial artist in the world.  In his spare time, he works at his dad's pizza place.

One day, while hanging out at an incredibly crowded movie theater that's showing a Bruce Lee film, Leroy is relaxing and eating popcorn with chopsticks when in walks Sho'nuff (the self-proclaimed "The Shogun of Harlem") and his minions.  Sho'nuff is boasting loudly that he's the baddest mofo in town when somebody yells out that Bruce Leroy could kick his ass.  This doesn't go over too well with Sho'nuff.  Bruce escapes the riot, but now he's on Sho'nuff's radar.

That is a great start to the film and honestly the only story the film needs (besides some romance), but for whatever reason the filmmakers decide to make the main story about a local crime lord who wants his girlfriend to be a popular singer!  What the fuck?  So now instead of enjoying the adventures of the highly entertaining Sho'nuff trying to kick Bruce Leroy's ass, we're mildly entertained by this goofy crime dude and his boring henchmen.  At the same time, Vanity is the hostess of a popular music program.  The crime dude kidnaps her as part of his plan to do whatever the hell it is he's doing...or something.  I didn't care.

THE LAST DRAGON is a good film, but it's kinda depressing to think about how much potential it had to be a totally awesome film!  The character of Sho'nuff is fantastic and should've had twice as much screentime as he did have.  To do so, the secondary story about Leroy's little brother and his boring friends should have been cut completely and replaced with the Sho'nuff and his crew kicking ass.

As it is, THE LAST DRAGON is still a fun film with some really good scenes and a number of totally worthless scenes.  Sho'nuff alone is worth the price of admission. Double-feature with BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA.

AIR FORCE ONE (1997)

President Harrison Ford ain't taking none of your shit, you smelly terrorist buttholes.  Now take your nasty unwashed, ballsackz and "Get off my plane!"

If you couldn't tell by the rousing music and the masses of people staring at him all glowy-eyed, President Harrison Ford is the greatest human in the history of the universe.  So, when some naughty terrorist poopheads (lead by Gary Oldman) hijack Air Force One, it's up to President Harrison Ford to fake his escape and then turn the tables on these silly, silly clownheads and give them a twenty-one nut kick salute to the balls!

For a 1990's action film, AIR FORCE ONE still holds up.  It's a little dated in the special effects and visceral action departments, but other than that it's an entertaining timewaster.  I especially liked the performances of the two leads (Ford and Oldman).  Although, I do wish that they would have made Oldman's character more psychotic.  Quick pace, lots of action, patriotism overdose, anti-climatic ending, zero nudity, President Harrison Ford, that one guy looking like he's holding in a very unpatriotic fart for the last half of the movie, explosions, overacting, the Wishmaster getting choked out, average direction.  Would make an interesting double-feature with EXECUTIVE DECISION.

Drinking game idea: every time somebody overrides another person's order, every time Gary Oldman screams and every time somebody sacrifices themselves to save President Harrison Ford's life.