I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)

Four teens go out partying during the last summer before they set off the conquer the world. While driving back from the beach, the driver is distracted by the drunk asshole hanging out the sunroof screaming his brains out and they run some dude over. So what do they do? Call the coppers and risk ruining their lives or just dump the motherfucker in the ocean? They decide on option #2, but unfortunately right as they're tossing the dude in the ocean...he's still alive! Yikes! Shit happens and they make a pact to never tell anybody ever. That works out alright for a little while, then the bodies start showing up. And by "bodies" I mean five total.

If you're looking for a badass horror movie then go watch INSIDE, because IKWYDLS is pure 90's teen soap opera cheese with some horror elements tossed in.  It's awesome. After the tragic event, Jennifer Love Hewitt gets all guilt-ridden and haggard looking; shit-talkin Ryan Phillippe doesn't become the big football star like he was boasting; Buffy Summers doesn't go to NYC and has to get a job at a department store and Freddie Prinze, Jr. ends up working on a fishing boat. Ohhh, so sad! And if all that wasn't crappy enough, now some dude in a fisherman jacket starts killing people with a big hook. Life just isn't fair!

Compared to other cheesy 90's teen horror movies like SCREAM or URBAN LEGEND, IKWYDLS is a little bit more light-weight (I'm surprised it got an R rating), but I have a soft spot for it because it stars a "Buffy"-era Sarah Michelle Gellar! I'm guessing she filmed this between Seasons 1 and 2. The two things that bothered me the most (besides the lack of violence and nudity) was JLH's god-awful screaming and the killer's almost supernatural abilities...the gym locker room scene and the cleaning up of the car trunk are the two biggest things that made me think "Bullshit!".

Worth watching if you're into this sort of thing, but don't expect anything profound. It's pure junk food for the brain.

[Update 07/03/2024: Just got home from a movie theater screening of I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER and I really, really enjoyed myself. I've seen the film many times obviously, but seeing it (again) in the theater was a lot of fun.]

Part 2 - I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
Part 3 - I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006)

SCREAM 2 (1997)

After an absolutely dismal opening segment, SCREAM 2 gets a little better in the second half before crashing into an iceberg of confusion and dying a slow death. The events of the first film have now been made into a movie called STAB and during a preview showing, two annoying assholes are stabbed to death, but only after we are forced to listen to their submental conversation for 10 painful minutes.

Sidney (played again by Neve Campbell) is now attending college and living a relatively peaceful life along with the movie nerd from the first film and a whole bunch of new characters. When the new murders occur, Sidney is once again put in the media spotlight, so in swoops returning characters Courteney Cox as an investigative reporter and David Arquette as a concerned hometown friend. Various secondary characters get killed off, but overall I just didn't give a fuck. Any originality of the first one is gone and replaced with tired popular culture references...the a cappella reenactment of "I Think I Love You" from TOP GUN being the most soul raping.

As a stand alone horror movie, SCREAM 2 is shitty pile of poo-poo. The story is alright, but the killer doesn't have the disquieting presence he had in the first film, the kills are weak and unimaginative, zero nudity, zero gore, very little blood, the killer is easy to guess and the end drags on forever. Worth watching, I guess, but just barely. The highlight of the movie was Sarah Michelle Gellar's short appearance.

Part 1 - Scream (1996)
Part 3 - Scream 3 (2000)
Part 4 - Scream 4 (2011)
Part 5 - Scream (2022)
Part 6 - Scream VI (2023)

No. No it wouldn't.

Crew member sticking his head up.