BLOODY MISTAKE II (2009)

I’m sure everybody remembers how Part 1 ended with the double-barrel shotgun blast of not one but two cliffhangers. The first being Ken staring at the maid’s butt and then Ken’s mom asking Princess if she loved Ken. Well, Part 2 takes up immediately where Part 1 left off with Ken walking outside to talk to his mom and Princess and Princess (once the mom leaves) telling Ken that she’s sore from Ken fucking her so hard! Or, at least, I think that’s what she said. For some reason the music in this film is literally at equal volume (or louder) than the dialogue and it was fucking me up. But in a good way since whatever I couldn’t understand I just added in myself. It was highly entertaining and honestly, I think Part 2 might even be better than Part 1!

Solid acting, great story that’s pretty much just Ken being a dumbass all the time (I loved it), new characters and old characters, lots of arguing, lots of new cliffhangers, a title screen that makes it look like the movie is called BLOODY II MISTAKE, super fast pace with new drama unfolding non-stop, multiple scenes where I was so excited that I had to rewind it to enjoy again, a very bizarre poster on Ken's wall. The only two complaints I have about the film are the mom character had way less screentime than she did in Part 1 and in one scene the mother of the young man Ken’s mom was fucking in Part 1 was watching television and it showed Sarah Palin. Ugggh! I’m trying to have a good time over here, nobody wants to see that reprehensible shit.

That one vomitous split-second scene aside, BLOODY MISTAKE II was fun from beginning to end. The 70 minute runtime flew by and I was legitimately upset when it ended. On yet another cliffhanger obviously.

Part 1 - Bloody Mistake (2009)

HATCHETMAN (2003)

It’s a small world after all. The Los Angeles police are stumped when a new serial killer, known as The Hatchetman, shows up. But they really shouldn’t be stumped because she or he or they is only killing strippers who work at a certain club and live at a particular apartment complex. The lead (aka only) Homicide detective should have figured this out since he’s dating one of the strippers! What an amazing coincidence.

The story might be shabby, but for an early 00’s skin flick/slasher, HATCHETMAN is alright. Although it's too weak to be classified as Horror. I remember watching it when it was new and not enjoying it, but while watching it again for this review I actually got a few giggles out of it. It probably had something to do with the nostalgia of it.

Script that probably took less than a day to write, multiple nude scenes early on, vintage electronics, cool old fashions, a random U2 CD, multiple strip club patrons that looked very bored or confused and nowhere near as excited as that dude at the strip club in WISHMASTER 4, okay pace that never dwelled for too long, a storyline (the hidden camera) that just disappeared without explanation, zero gore, very little blood.

HATCHETMAN isn't great Cinema (it's barely even average Cinema), but in a state of crushing depression it can be an amusing distraction.  Or, if you're looking for a better early 2000's obscure slasher, you'd probably be better off with BLOODY MURDER since it actually tries to be a Horror film.  And it's way funnier.

Back to HATCHETMAN, I'm kinda surprised that the two main female leads didn't star in more films since they were both good actresses.

U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind