HATCHETMAN (2003)

It’s a small world after all. The Los Angeles police are stumped when a new serial killer, known as The Hatchetman, shows up. But they really shouldn’t be stumped because she or he or they is only killing strippers who work at a certain club and live at a particular apartment complex. The lead (aka only) Homicide detective should have figured this out since he’s dating one of the strippers! What an amazing coincidence.

The story might be shabby, but for an early 00’s skin flick/slasher, HATCHETMAN is alright. Although it's too weak to be classified as Horror. I remember watching it when it was new and not enjoying it, but while watching it again for this review I actually got a few giggles out of it. It probably had something to do with the nostalgia of it.

Script that probably took less than a day to write, multiple nude scenes early on, vintage electronics, cool old fashions, a random U2 CD, multiple strip club patrons that looked very bored or confused and nowhere near as excited as that dude at the strip club in WISHMASTER 4, okay pace that never dwelled for too long, a storyline (the hidden camera) that just disappeared without explanation, zero gore, very little blood.

HATCHETMAN isn't great Cinema (it's barely even average Cinema), but in a state of crushing depression it can be an amusing distraction.  Or, if you're looking for a better early 2000's obscure slasher, you'd probably be better off with BLOODY MURDER since it actually tries to be a Horror film.  And it's way funnier.

Back to HATCHETMAN, I'm kinda surprised that the two main female leads didn't star in more films since they were both good actresses.

U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind

BLOODY MISTAKE (2009)

A woman has an abortion.  Seven months later an older dude flirts with her. So now, before you can say "Richard is Pointing at Gillian's Dods." she ends up pregnant again.  While sitting out on the street crying about how the dude dumped her, yet another older dude walks up out of nowhere and offers to marry her since his 6 previous wives could not have children. Next, three people murder a guy with hairy ears. Then a drunk dude brings home his drunk buddy. The drunk dude’s mother has a friend who likes to bang younger dudes. So, the mom gives her son’s buddy some credits for his phone. Around this same time, a younger woman’s car breaks down; a guy talks to himself while wearing upside-down sunglasses and a young woman promises her mother that she will not lose her virginity again. In other words, it’s fucking awesome! Oh yeah, another scene I loved was a guy was at his mother’s house eating dinner when he tells his mother that he wants to introduce his mom to his fiancée…who is already sitting at the table eating! Like how do you introduce somebody to another person mid-meal inside their own house? Fucking classic!

I have zero point zero information about BLOODY MISTAKE and I’m not even sure that is the real title of the movie. I tried to Google it and found nothing, so the only information I have is the DVD and the copyright date on the case. If I’m wrong about anything, please tell me and I’ll correct it. I also have what is labeled parts 2, 3 and 4, but I’m too busy re-watching part 1 to move onto those just yet.

Anyway, I cannot share any info about the film credentials, but as far as entertainment goes…I was in movie heaven! I was also pleasantly surprised about how good the acting was. I was especially impressed by the mother of the main dude. She was great! I also enjoyed the rapid fire pace, the interesting locations and, well, everything. I’m sure some people might dismiss this film for whatever reasons, but, in my extremely depressed state, I found it to be highly entertaining.