FLETCH LIVES (1989)

After cashing in at the box office with the first film, the filmmakers decided to drop the appealing BEVERLY HILLS COP vibe and the exciting Los Angeles settings and replace it with our hero Fletch investigating illegal toxic chemical dumping in a dank Louisiana swamp. Yeah, that’s what audiences wanna see: tired ass Deep South racism jokes and toxic waste humor. And, I guess, it was because FLETCH LIVES was the #1 film in America two weeks in a row.

Fletch’s aunt dies and leaves him a “mansion” (in Jerkwater, Louisiana) that’s so rickety and dilapidated that it’d probably fall over if a raccoon farted on it. But, since photography had not been invited yet in 1989, Fletch doesn’t know about the state of the mansion and instead goes there to retire. Once there, in classic movie storytelling fashion, he immediately bones the first woman he sees and is then arrested for her murder when she turns up dead the next morning. Rape humor, KKK jokes, bigoted small town cop comedy, Nazi knee-slappers and hemorrhoid rib-ticklers ensue.

I remember seeing FLETCH LIVES back in 1989 and not being impressed. It's even less impressive now. I was really hoping that upon a re-visit that I’d understand more of the adult-oriented humor and the movie would be funnier. Nope! I did get all the jokes this time around, they're just not funny. That said, I was impressed by the (male heavy) cast, but sadly, the talents of Cleavon Little, R. Lee Ermey, Phil Hartman, Hal Holbrook and Geoffrey Lewis were all wasted here.

Worth a watch, if you're in the mood for a forgettable, lazy rainy afternoon time-waster.

Part 1 - Fletch (1985)
Reboot - Confess, Fletch (2022)

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING (2006)

Well...it was better than the 2003 reboot.

This time around we get to see Thomas "Leatherface" Hewitt being born (on the slaughterhouse floor) in 1939.  Fast-forward to 1969 and the Hewitt's small Texas hometown has dried up and blown away.  The slaughterhouse has shut down, so the family decides to start preying on humans for their meat.

That's an alright premise and the photography is better than in the last film, but honestly, it's still boring.  It's not as visceral, imaginative or as mean-spirited as the story deserves and instead it just comes off as yet another by-the-numbers big studio horror movie.  I've read a lot of TCM fan fiction over they years (and imagined a bunch myself) and there's hundreds, if not thousands, of better TCM stories to tell than this.  That said...passable acting by a boring cast (R. Lee Ermey is far and away the highlight of the film), minor blood, zero nudity, okay pace that slows down towards the end, predictable ending, boring Leatherface.  Yawn.  That one chick had some tig ol' bitties, so not everything was boring.

Part 1 - The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Part 2 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
Part 3 - Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)
Remake/sequel - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
Reboot 1 - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Reboot sequel to original - Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
Prequel - Leatherface (2017)
Direct sequel to original - Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)