A WALK IN THE WOODS (2015)

Mildly entertaining lightweight comedy about a aging travel writer (Robert Redford) who's beginning to face the fact that he's getting old.  Spurred on by this reality, he teams up with his old buddy Nick Nolte and they beginning walking the 2,200 miles long Appalachian Trail...without any preparation (other than buying a few supplies).  I don't even think they looked at a map because two months in they're completely shocked to learn that they're not even halfway to their destination despite the fact that Redford said at the beginning of their journey it would take 5 months or so.

I wanted to enjoy A WALK IN THE WOODS, but the whole thing just felt very disjointed.  There's little introduction to either of Redford or Nolte's characters and the entire walking along the Appalachian Trail doesn't have any feeling of progress or hardship.  Both characters look the same the entire film (even their hair stays the same).  Also they ride in a car at one point, stay in a hotel, eat at multiple restaurants.  I've never walked the Appalachian Trail, so all of these things were very confusing to me.  I thought it was all about being in nature and camping, not hitchhiking and sleeping in motels.  Another thing, besides the weak script, was weird stuff going on in the background.  There's multiple scenes that looked really really fake, like they were acting in front of a screen or in a studio.  That took me out of the movie.

Overall, I liked the film and I'm glad I watched it (I always enjoy seeing Redford and Nolte), but I just wish the script and direction had been better.  Oh yeah, Emma Thompson and Mary Steenburgen are both in this film as well, but their roles are so small that they're only on screen for a few minutes each.

Vermont and New Hampshire switched.

Somebody in the background controlling traffic.

THE RUNAWAY BARGE (1975)

Coming in at only 72 minutes, THE RUNAWAY BARGE packs a lot into its short runtime. First off, you got some bootleggers secretly unloading a barge full of sugar, then Tim Matheson (and his "hippie" hair) reports for his first day of work on a huge barge called the "River King". His new co-workers are a whiley bunch.  They include the guy from the engine room who literally screams all of his lines right in the other people's faces, James Best (best known as "Rosco P. Coltrane), Jim "Jock Ewing" Davis as the captain and Lucille Benson who starred in a bunch of TV shows. Then he meets Bo Hopkins who talks nonstop for the rest of the movie.

Bo finds out that the woman he's screwing is bangin' another guy so he takes Tim onshore to straighten this shit out. Naturally the chick has an attractive friend and she instantly falls for the dreamy Tim. Right about the time he's about to knockboota he looks up and the River King is going down the river without them!!! They get on a gold motorcycle with a sidecar and race off after the barge. Along the way they talk some shit to the other guy Bo's girlfriend is screwing, Nick Nolte.

They race along the road (and off the road) and right when they get to a place where they can cut off the River King they run smack dab into the bootleggers! They get locked up in a shed and right before Nick Nolte (he's the leader of the bootleggers) can kill them Bo Hopkins girlfriend breaks them out and everybody starts chasing each other around in the dark. Well ol' Bo and Tim end up on a barge and untie it and start floating down the river to escape. They do, but while celebrating they realize the barge is full up with chlorine. Oh shit. I guess barges don't have anchors or radios or anything cause Tim and Bo just stand there and talk about how they're going to die when the barge hits the dam downriver. Then suddenly right before the barge crashes a little bitty tug boat, driven by the River King captain, whips in and stops them. He then leads out the window and starts talking shit about Tim's hair. The End.

Strangely enough I actually enjoyed the movie. From beginning to end it was always going forward so I never had time to get bored. If you can find a copy and you enjoy cheesy 70's made-for-TV movie I say go for it! It's not going to change your life, but you'll get a few good chuckles out of it.

For more 1975 TV weirdness check out THE WEREWOLF OF WOODSTOCK!