NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983)

"You'll be whistling zippity-doo-dah out of your assholes!"

In hopes of being able to spend some much needed quality time with his family, food additive designer Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), buys a new monster station wagon and sets off on a cross-country road trip to visit the world-famous Wally World amusement park in Los Angeles.  Along the way, all kinds of crazy shit happens.  Everything from visiting inbred family members and eating dog urine-marinated sandwiches to skinny dipping in a freezing swimming pool.  And let's not forget Christie Brinkley as the "Girl in the Ferrari".  God only knows how many kids busted a nut to her back in the 80's!  I know of, at least, one!

Newer audiences today will probably find NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION to be dated and lame, but as a child of the 1980's I have a soft spot for it and can't even tell you how many times I've seen it.  Dozens, easily.  Quick pace, iconic characters, quotable lines ("Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it."), nice scenery, ancient electronics, 80's fashions, a stack of nudie books this high, great acting by everybody, a moose getting punched in the nose, yo mama gettin' fucked, people whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of their assholes, Eugene Levy as a car salesman, Beverly D'Angelo topless, John Candy as a security guard and probably the highlight of the film to me: a surprise appearance by Eddie Bracken!!  Just the mere sight of him brought up memories of the wedding scene in THE MIRACLE OF MORGAN'S CREEK and I immediately started smiling ear to ear.

Highly recommended.  An absolute must watch for anybody interested in 80's movies.

Part 2 - National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)
Part 3 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Part 4 - Vegas Vacation (1997)
Part 5 - Vacation (2015)

SPLASH (1984)

Forrest Gump is knocked unconscious when he falls off a boat near Cape Cod and he would have drown if he hadn't been saved by a mermaid (Daryl Hannah) who falls in love with him.  Stuff happens and the mermaid follows him back to New York City.  They hook up (she can somehow magically grow legs when she's out of the water) and then all kinds of "only in the movies" problem arise simply because she refuses to tell him she's a part-time mermaid.  Stuff like a mermaid obsessed scientist (Eugene Levy) stalking them, the government getting involved, her hiding from the rain, him being confused as fuck all the time, etc.  Also, at one point he illegally parks directly in front of a police station and doesn't get murdered by the police.  Totally unbelievable.

This was my first time seeing SPLASH and I'm kinda confused as to why it made so much money in the theaters back in 1984.  It's a okay film, but nothing special.  Yet somehow it made three million more than THE TERMINATOR and THE LAST STARFIGHTER combined!!!  It was the #10 money maker for the year!  I guess it was a good date movie or some of it could be attributed the desperate nerds wanting to wack off to Daryl Hannah's ass. Who knows. I've never been a part of normal human society so maybe something in this film was lost on me.

Mediocre story, average acting, no real laugh out loud moments only a few chuckles, John Candy in a few scenes not doing much, Ron Howard's dad, Ron Howard's brother, cool NYC street scenes including (in the highlight of the movie) an awesome looking theater showing a double-feature of THE EVIL DEAD and XTRO playing right next to a porno theater(?) showing films called THE MISTRESS, SWEET CHEEKS and SKINTIGHT...not even sure if those are real movies.