THE KARATE KID (1984)

"Go find the balance."

When twenty-something year old teenager Daniel Larusso's (Ralph Macchio) mother upends his life by moving from New Jersey to Los Angeles for a job, Daniel bitches and complains, but makes the best of it by (literally on his second day in town) hanging out at the beach with the dude from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES and mackin' on Ali Mills (Elisabeth Shue).  Shue's ex-boyfriend, Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) and his gang of karate buddies come rolling up on their motorcycles all pre-THE LOST BOYS style and bring the ruckus.  Daniel ends up getting kicked in his pretty face.  This violent behavior helps push Ali into Daniel's arms.  At the same time, Daniel befriends his apartment complex's handyman Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita), who's a secret karate badass.  The tensions between Johnny and Daniel keep rising (another more brutal beat down, Daniel pushed down a hill, Daniel destroying Johnny's weed, etc.) until finally they agree to fight it out once and for all at a local karate championship in two months.  Unfortunately, Daniel doesn't know karate.  This is where Mr. Miyagi steps in.

THE KARATE KID is a great movie.  Yes, it's dated and anybody with mild intelligence can correctly predict the ending, but it doesn't matter because the journey is so much fun.  Multiple memorable characters that became 80's cultural icons, perfect pace, impressive photography (that long shot when they enter the championship was bad ass!), excellent acting, awesome music, wonderful onscreen chemistry between the entire cast, beautiful California locations, cool skeleton Halloween costumes, tons of memorable scenes and quotes, a masterful script that blurs the lines of good guy/bad guy and creates characters that are very human, a number of interesting actors as supporting characters, skeleton getting kicked in the nards, one of those rare endings that leaves the viewer equally satisfied and wanting more.

Highly recommended.  Anybody interested in 1980's American culture (or just wanting to see a good movie) should watch THE KARATE KID.  If you need me, I'll be out in the backyard painting the fence...both sides.

[Post-review side note: If you like THE KARATE KID, then you should watch "Cobra Kai".  It's an amazing show that is so much fun that it actually makes the original film better!  Check it out.]

Part 2 - The Karate Kid Part II (1986)
Part 3 - The Karate Kid Part III (1989)
Part 4 - The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Remake - The Karate Kid (2010)

DEATH WISH (2018)

Meh.  I think the word "meh" not only accurately summarizes my feelings about this remake of 1974's DEATH WISH, but also my feelings about Eli Roth's entire directorial output up until this point.  CABIN FEVER?  It had it's moments. HOSTEL?  Yawn. THE GREEN INFERNO?  Double yawn.

Anyway, after quickly showing Bruce Willis with his picture perfect family and establishing that he's a "pussy", we get to the moment where his family is attacked.  And...it's about as lifeless and non-threatening as you would expect from an Eli Roth joint. After the PG-rated attack scene, ol' Bruce gets good and mad.  So mad that he starts watching online instructional videos about guns and self-defense!  Wow, that's so exciting.  Eventually, he does go out and gets his blast on, but it's completely by-the-numbers and boring.  The End.

Computer-generated blood, illogical story, lifeless photography, "I'm just here to collect a paycheck." acting, weak action scenes, zero nudity, zero thrills, soulless emotional scenes.  Worst of all was the annoying social commentary by the radio DJ's.  That was straight torture to listen to.  It subtracted from the film by even being there.

DEATH WISH (2018) isn't the worst thing in the world, just lame and forgettable.  You'd probably be better off just taking a nap.

Part 1 - Death Wish (1974)
Part 2 - Death Wish II (1982)
Part 3 - Death Wish 3 (1985)
Part 4 - Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)
Part 5 - Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994)