TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES (2015)

I'm not sure how I feel about this one.  While I'm always grateful for an update to the Tremors universe, I was not a fan of the new edgy look or the aggressive attitude of this film.  Everybody just seemed so goddamn pissed off for the entire movie.  I enjoy the Tremors series because it's a light-hearted and exciting throwback to the awesome monster movies of the 1950's.  Not because I wanna see cranky, dingy dudes doing tricks on dirt bikes and drinking their own urine...not at the same time mind you.  That would have been fucking awesome!!!  Can you imagine that?  "Oi, crikey!  I'm gonna distract that Graboid by launching over it with me dirt bike while drinking me own pee-pee!"

Anyway, back to TREMORS 5.  It's okay.  Burt is now some kind of annoying survivalist huckster who makes videos of himself running around the desert eating snakes.  Word comes along about Graboid trouble in South Africa, so Burt and his annoying new cameraman (Jamie Kennedy) go check it out.  Once there, they talk a lot of shit and quickly find out that things are worse than they imagined.  It's mildly entertaining and seems to have more in common with a Sharknado movie than the original TREMORS.

Medium pace, lots of stupid dialogue, annoying camera shenanigans to make it look like a shitty TV show, dumb as hell end boss fight, a flying corkscrew Graboid, a lot of people that look like they need a bath.  Overall, it's watchable, but forgettable.  If this had been the very first Tremors film, nobody would have asked for a second.

Part 1 - Tremors (1990)
Part 2 - Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996)
Part 3 - Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001)
Part 4 (prequel) - Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)
Part 6 - Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (2018)

Part 7 - Tremors: Shrieker Island (2020)

COOL AS ICE (1991)

From the cinematographer of SCHINDLER'S LIST and SAVING PRIVATE RYAN comes the preposterous story of a young rapper, Johnny Van Owen (Vanilla Ice), who's riding with his crew through a small town when suddenly his homeboi's bike starts trippin'.  Forced to stay in this two-bit town until the whip is fixed, Mr. Vanilla fills his time by flirting with the only attractive girl in town, Kathy...whom Vanilla calls "Kat" because he is clever.  Added to this already exciting drama (bike getting repaired, Vanilla courting Kat) is the nail-biting news that Kat's father (Michael Gross) is actually in the Witness Protection Program and now the people he's hiding from have found him!  Will lil' 'nilla be able to save the day and still have time to jump his motorcycle over a fence, dance randomly, randomly rap, drive his motorcycle through the wall of a house, ride a horse backwards, wear sunglasses at night and go across the street to, uh, schling a schlong?  Probably.

Based on the film's (current 6/2015) IMDb score of 2.8/10 and all of the snide comments you see online about this film, you would think that it's an incompetent turd of a movie, but it's actually entertaining.  The story is straight forward, the photography by longtime Spielberg collaborator Janusz Kamiński is impressive, the music numbers are worked seamless into the story and not forced, the supporting characters are all memorable, interesting set designs and the acting by the whole cast (yes, even Mr. Ice) are all perfectly fine.  Honestly, I enjoyed Ice's playful manner and goofy lines like "...I'm just cooling." and "Then let's g-o."

Recommended for people who don't take life 2 seriously and/or fans of cheesy 90's cinema.  If I had the financial means, I would gladly finance COOL AS ICE 2: STILL, UH, SCHLIN' DAT SCHLONG with absolutely no regard to if it made money or not.  I'm also curious as to why the song "Ice Ice Baby" was not used?