VEGAS VACATION (1997)

Completely devoid of any original ideas, the writers have Clark Griswold take his family on a PG-rated trip to Las Vegas...wow, that sounds like a real laugh riot.  Once there, his wife runs off with Wayne Newton, his simpleton son accidentally becomes a high roller, his daughter becomes a go-go dancer and Clark gambles off his family savings.  Yeah, nothing funnier than a dad losing all of his family's money.  That's always good for a laugh.

In between the depressing bits about Clark's hilarious life-destroying gambling addiction, the viewer is treated to other anti-funny moments like Clark being a distracted and dangerously bad driver; the Griswold's going on a tour of Hoover Dam and the guide using the word "dam" a lot; Cousin Eddie living on an old hydrogen-bomb test site; Clark gets toilet water on his hand and the family stealing a winning keno ticket from a corpse.  All of that is just comedy gold!

Zero laughs, zero nudity, boring camerawork, completely flatline pace, meh acting.  I saw VEGAS VACATION during it's original release and thought it was surprisingly lame.  Watching it again now for this review...it's honestly even lamer than I remembered.  The only thing that I found noteworthy was that the daughter, Marisol Nichols, is now a mom on "Riverdale".  That's really not that interesting, but goddamn, I was bored senseless trying to trudge through this stinker.  It was honestly a chore.  Skip it with a vengeance and never look back.

Part 1 - National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Part 2 - National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)
Part 3 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Part 5 - Vacation (2015)

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989)

"Merry Christmas. Shitter was full."

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION is probably the greatest Christmas movie of all time (despite the fact the story ends on Christmas Eve).

This year, instead of driving all over the place, the Griswolds decide to stay at home for the holidays, so, of course, that means plenty of eggnog, multiple uninvited guests, pissed off neighbors, a kidnapping, 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights and dozens of fantastic quotable lines.  I've seen NLCV so many times, I can probably quote the whole movie.

Clark Griswold is at his best when he's stressed out and in this film he's definitely stressed out!  Worried about his Christmas bonus and overwhelmed with troublesome relatives, Clark is about to lose his mind, so it's probably not the greatest idea of all time to single-handedly cover his house in 250 strands of lights...but he does it anyway and the rest is movie history.

Quick pace, a re-watchability rating that's off the scale, a squirrel...excuse me, I mean "SQUIRREL!", tree sap, nippley weather, perfect acting by a truly impressive cast, a dog with a sinus condition, a gigantic Christmas tree, tons of laughs, a FRIDAY THE 13TH reference, yuppie neighbors and some asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION is mandatory viewing.  I even have it saved on my phone so I can have it with me everywhere I go.

Part 1 - National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Part 2 - National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)
Part 4 - Vegas Vacation (1997)
Part 5 - Vacation (2015)

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S EUROPEAN VACATION (1985)

"Typical American assholes."

Thanks to a tired script, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S EUROPEAN VACATION is actually more dated than the original Vacation film released 2 years earlier!

The film opens with an amusing game show scene, in which the Griswold's (or Griswald as it's spelt on his passport) win a trip to Europe.  After that, it's mostly downhill with cheap sets, bizarre editing, stock footage, pointless scenes, a boring car chase scene, completely underused European locations, hideous fashions and numerous jokes that are dead on arrival.  On the bright side...it's still totally watchable.  Chevy Chase has his moments, some familiar faces (Eric Idle, Paul Bartel, John Astin, Ballard Berkeley, William Zabka, etc.) brighten things up, two nice topless scenes, hideous fashions, quick pace and strangely enough...some of the dead humor is now so lame that it's actually become funny to laugh at.

I feel (as a highly-paid professional film critic) that I should probably have more to say about EUROPEAN VACATION, but honestly the subject bores me and I'd much rather move on to the next film in the series, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION, which is one of my favorite 80's movies of all time!  "Shitter was full!"

Part 1 - National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
Part 3 - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Part 4 - Vegas Vacation (1997)
Part 5 - Vacation (2015)

Lame pre-1972 stock footage that doesn't even show the World Trade Center.