DEATH WISH (2018)

Meh.  I think the word "meh" not only accurately summarizes my feelings about this remake of 1974's DEATH WISH, but also my feelings about Eli Roth's entire directorial output up until this point.  CABIN FEVER?  It had it's moments. HOSTEL?  Yawn. THE GREEN INFERNO?  Double yawn.

Anyway, after quickly showing Bruce Willis with his picture perfect family and establishing that he's a "pussy", we get to the moment where his family is attacked.  And...it's about as lifeless and non-threatening as you would expect from an Eli Roth joint. After the PG-rated attack scene, ol' Bruce gets good and mad.  So mad that he starts watching online instructional videos about guns and self-defense!  Wow, that's so exciting.  Eventually, he does go out and gets his blast on, but it's completely by-the-numbers and boring.  The End.

Computer-generated blood, illogical story, lifeless photography, "I'm just here to collect a paycheck." acting, weak action scenes, zero nudity, zero thrills, soulless emotional scenes.  Worst of all was the annoying social commentary by the radio DJ's.  That was straight torture to listen to.  It subtracted from the film by even being there.

DEATH WISH (2018) isn't the worst thing in the world, just lame and forgettable.  You'd probably be better off just taking a nap.

Part 1 - Death Wish (1974)
Part 2 - Death Wish II (1982)
Part 3 - Death Wish 3 (1985)
Part 4 - Death Wish 4: The Crackdown (1987)
Part 5 - Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994)

TWELVE MONKEYS (1995)

"I'm am insane, and you are my insanity."

In 2035 the surface of the earth is so fucked by a virus that the remaining humans are forced to live underground in a steampunkish world of gears, hoses, goggles and random gauges.  Despite the fact that everything looks like the inside of a WWII submarine, they've somehow developed a rudimentary form of time travel.  Prisoner Bruce Willis is "volunteered" to go back to 1996 to follow up on some clues mysterious about the source of the virus.  But, since this is a rough science, they accidentally send him back to 1990 (instead of 1996) and he's promptly tossed in an insane asylum.  There he meets sexy doctor Madeleine Stowe and fellow crazy inmate Brad Pitt (you know he's crazy because he moves his fingers a lot).  Maybe this is where the idea for it all started because when Bruce mentions humanity being stuck down by a virus it peaks the interest of Pitt, who's father just happens to own a laboratory capable of creating a deadly virus.  As Willis is whisked back and forth throughout time he begins to question his own sanity.

I remember seeing TWELVE MONKEYS opening weekend in the theater and liking it.  Watching it again now for this review, the special effects haven't aged well, but it's still an interesting story.  Solid performances by Bruce Willis and Madeleine Stowe, standard Terry Gilliam visuals that would have looked better with a higher budget, time travel elements we've seen better elsewhere, David Morse going incognito with a long orange ponytail and a bright yellow jacket, cinematography by Roger Pratt who also did BRAZIL.  Worth a watch.