HOP-A-LONG CASSIDY (1935)

Made just a few years after the publication of Dashiell Hammett’s (excellent) “Red Harvest” and 26 years before the release of Akira Kurosawa’s (also excellent) YOJIMBO, HOP-A-LONG CASSIDY tells a very familiar story of a dude (in this case the bad guy, not the good guy) playing two ranch gangs against each other in a concocted range war created by him performing terroristic acts against both sides. Enter into this shitstorm is one Bill Cassidy. He’s a cool dude with a gigantic hat and a calm demeanor. If the brewing storm of the range war wasn’t already enough, Cassidy also has to deal with a new guy who’s got more balls than brains. In fact, it’s at a hanging party for the new guy where Cassidy gets shot in the leg and develops his signature hop. Naturally, there’s also a young woman involved.

I went into this film not really expecting much, but for being made in 1935 I was thoroughly impressed by the maturity of the story and the professionalism of the acting. That one scene with Cassidy and Uncle Ben (you know the one) was fucking excellent. I’m over here getting all teared up over a 90 year old Western. Anyway, yeah some of the dialogue was goofy, but what do I know, maybe motherfuckers really did call each other “galoots” and “mossback” back in the day. I was also amused about how psychotic everybody was in this movie. Fucking shooting at each other nonstop and talking shit. Even shooting at each other as a joke during the middle of an all-out gunfight! What the fuck? I’m over here hiding beneath a water trough while 20 dudes are shooting at me and my pal shoots a hole in the trough so it pours water on my head. Thanks, buddy.

Overall, HOP-A-LONG CASSIDY was much better than I expected and I’m excited to watch the other 65 films in the series. Sixty-five?! Fuck me. My only real complaint was one of the stunts early in the film with a horse falling. I didn’t like that at all and have no clue if the horse was injured or not, but it wasn’t cool and was very upsetting.

There was also an impressive cast full of familiar faces. The two most familiar to me, at least, were George "Gabby" Hayes, who’s been in tons of Westerns and Robert Warwick who played the snobbish Mr. Vance in that excellent scene towards the end of 1937’s THE AWFUL TRUTH. I’ve, no bullshit, seen that movie over 500 times. Anyway, HOP-A-LONG CASSIDY is still a solid Western and worth watching for anybody curious about it. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

Part 2 - The Eagle's Brood (1935)
Part 3 - Bar 20 Rides Again (1935)
Part 4 - Call of the Prairie (1936)
Part 5 - Three on the Trail (1936)
Part 6 - Heart of the West (1936)
Part 7 - Hopalong Cassidy Returns (1936)
Part 8 - Trail Dust (1936)
Part 9 - Borderland (1937)
Part 10 - Hills of Old Wyoming (1937)
Part 11 - North of the Rio Grande (1937)
Part 12 - Rustlers' Valley (1937)
Part 13 - Hopalong Rides Again (1937)
Part 14 - Texas Trail (1937)
Part 15 - Partners of the Plains (1938)
Part 16 - Cassidy of Bar 20 (1938)
Part 17 - Heart of Arizona (1938)
Part 18 - Bar 20 Justice (1938)
Part 19 - Pride of the West (1938)
Part 20 - In Old Mexico (1938)
Part 21 - The Frontiersmen (1938)
Part 22 - Sunset Trail (1939)
Part 23 - Silver on the Sage (1939)
Part 24 - Renegade Trail (1939)
Part 25 - Range War (1939)
Part 26 - Law of the Pampas (1939)
Part 27 - Santa Fe Marshal (1940)
Part 28 - The Showdown (1940)
Part 29 - Hidden Gold (1940)
Part 30 - Stagecoach War (1940)
Part 31 - Three Men from Texas (1940)
Part 32 - Doomed Caravan (1941)
Part 33 - In Old Colorado (1941)
Part 34 - Border Vigilantes (1941)
Part 35 - Pirates on Horseback (1941)
Part 36 - Wide Open Town (1941)
Part 37 - Riders of the Timberline (1941)
Part 38 - Stick to Your Guns (1941)
Part 39 - Twilight on the Trail (1941)
Part 40 - Outlaws of the Desert (1941)
Part 41 - Secrets of the Wasteland (1941)
Part 42 - Lost Canyon (1942)
Part 43 - Undercover Man (1942)
Part 44 - Hoppy Serves a Writ (1943)
Part 45 - Border Patrol (1943)
Part 46 - Leather Burners (1943)
Part 47 - Colt Comrades (1943)
Part 48 - Bar 20 (1943)
Part 49 - False Colors (1943)
Part 50 - Riders of the Deadline (1943)
Part 51 - Texas Masquerade (1944)
Part 52 - Lumberjack (1944)
Part 53 - Mystery Man (1944)
Part 54 - Forty Thieves (1944)
Part 55 - The Devil's Playground (1946)
Part 56 - Fool's Gold (1947)
Part 57 - Unexpected Guest (1947)
Part 58 - Dangerous Venture (1947)
Part 59 - The Marauders (1947)
Part 60 - Hoppy's Holiday (1947)
Part 61 - Silent Conflict (1948)
Part 62 - The Dead Don't Dream (1948)
Part 63 - Sinister Journey (1948)
Part 64 - Borrowed Trouble (1948)
Part 65 - False Paradise (1948)
Part 66 - Strange Gamble (1948)

KING OF THE UNDERWORLD (1939)

A married sawbones works in secret for the King of the Underworld (Humphrey Bogart) patching up hoodlums for some extra scratch to bet on the ponies.  One evening while sewing up a gangster who was shot in a getaway stick, the trigger-happy bulls start blasting the joint. When the gat smoke clears, the doctor is wearing a Chicago overcoat.  The local (crooked) DA is out for blood so he falsely accuses the surgeon’s widow (who is also a doctor) of being in cahoots with the mob as well.  She’s not.  Boring shit happens and before you can say, “I wish Forever Grey would make a 9-minute cover of the Def Leppard song Hysteria.” both the doctor and the King of the Underworld are in the same small town doing all kinds of riveting things.  The doctor treats an innocent man who was ventilated by a stray bullet then pays off her grocery store bill.  The King of the Underworld yells at his men while they change a flat tire and then works on his autobiography.  It’s exciting stuff.  And speaking of excitement, don’t even get me started on the thrilling climax featuring eye drops!  I was peeing my Ewok Underoos as I shivered with antici



pation.

At only 67 minutes you would think that the film would fly by, but nope.  This mother is slow!  Average acting, unattractive scenery, boring sets, lame dialogue, by the numbers story filled with paper thin characters, goofy ending.  As a gangster movie KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is too tame and as a melodrama KING OF THE UNDERWORLD is still too tame.  The entire thing is as weak as H.R. Pickens.  Worth a watch, I guess, for Bogart fans.  Then again, I love Humphrey Bogart and even I found his performance to be uninspired.  Yeah, see?