CHROMESKULL: LAID TO REST 2 (2011)

Starting immediately where Part 1 ends, a different actress with less impressive tits leaves the scene of the Chromeskull showdown. Once she leaves, a crack team of medical doctors rushes in, scoop up Chromeskull and take him back to their secret lair. While they're nursing him back to health, the head dude of this mysterious outfit tracks down and guts the Final Girl. Once Chromeskull is better and hears about this he gets all butthurt and breaks a mirror.  What a toughie. Soon though, he's got his sights on another Final Girl. He captures her and brings her back to his lair where he spends the rest of the movie chasing her around the generic, rundown warehouse. Yawn.

Despite the headache-inducing story and the obviously low budget, Part 2 actually is better than the original, but that's not saying much. The funny way a dog hunches his back when he shits is better than Part 1. If I could only change one thing about this movie, besides erasing it from existence, it would be to get a different main girl. This chick had zero personality and was completely forgettable. Why wouldn't you just put Danielle Harris in that role? Money, I guess.

Moderate gore, minimum blood, very quick female nudity, Danielle Harris completely wasted, low budget, needlessly confusing story, crappy looking sets, text messages, dumb ending and worst of all...Chromeskull still looks dumb as hell. Skip the fuck out of this turkey.

Part 1 - Laid to Rest (2009)

URBAN LEGEND (1998)

Predictable, but enjoyable late-90's SCREAM clone.

There's a killer stalking a small group of college students, but instead of just hacking and slashing, the killer uses different urban legends like calling from inside the house, killer hiding in the back seat and headlight flashing to kill his victims. URBAN LEGEND isn't groundbreaking, but watching it again I got a little nostalgic for the simpler 90's, pre-SAW slasher films filled with cheesy alt-butt rock, no cell phones and funny looking internet sites...then again if you'd ask me what I thought of this film back in 1998 I probably would have said "It sucked balls." Oh well, I guess I'm getting old.

Zero gore, zero nudity, nearly all bloodless kills, low body count, 90's fashions, Alicia Witt looking hot as fuck, Jared Leto looking dreamy as fuck, Tara Reid looking only half busted, Danielle Harris dressed up as a Hollywood version of a goth (mmmmmm), Brad Dourif cameo, Freddy Krueger as a professor. For a horror movie, URBAN LEGEND is pretty shitty, but for entertainment it's passable and I got some good laughs out of it. Worth wasting your time with if it comes on cable and you're too drunk/high to change the channel.

Part 2 - Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)
Part 3 - Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)