THE SHALLOWS (2016)

Meh.  An attractive woman goes (alone) to a remote beach in Mexico.  While out in the water, she's attacked by a shark.  Injured (with a gnarly laceration on her left leg), she manages to swim to a rock, but now she's stuck 200 yards from shore with no immediate means of escape or rescue.

In the hands of a proper writer this could have been an exciting story, but as it is...I've honestly had more heart-pounding shark experiences playing Far Cry 3.  That's not saying THE SHALLOWS is a bad film, cause it's an alright time waster, but the whole thing was just kinda...average.  No ups, no downs, just predictable and safe.

Mediocre pace, a bunch of unneeded filler about her family life that I didn't give any fucks about, zero nudity, one really pissed off and determined shark, a cute seagull that reminded me of those crazy singing seagulls in THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER, continuity error when she eats the apple (watch the direction of her first bite), lame ending.

I know this movie has only been out a few months, but I'd really like to see an R-rated remake with tons of gore, nudity and awesome action scenes!

THE TOWN (2010)

A bank robber (with a heart of gold) falls in love with a woman (with a heart of gold) and even though he wants to go straight, he can't because he's too deep into the hoodlum lifestyle. That's the story to about 66 million crime/film noir movies over the years. Still, for some reason, despite the unoriginal story, the two dimensional characters and the pedestrian direction I liked this movie. I guess I just like this story.

Ben Affleck plays Ben Affleck with a Irish accent. He was raised in a shitty neighborhood and now he's a bank robber. During one robbery they kidnap a girl then let her go on the other side of town. He fears that she can I.D. them, so he goes to see what she knows. They instantly fall in love. Didn't see that coming.  [Rolls handsome eyeballs.]  When he's not all blinking butterfly lasers at her over pineapple pizza he's out robbing shit and shooting cops.

Entertaining shootouts, exciting car chase, zero nudity, lots of cussing, endless macho posturing. Enjoyable movie, worth a watch, but we've seen it all before.