MAN'S BEST FRIEND (1993)

A wannabe investigative reporter (Ally Sheedy), who has the intelligence of a pine cone and the visual observation skills of a blind mole-rat, illegally breaks into a genetic research facility to see what’s poppin’ up n dat bish. Turns out the scientists are creating the ultimate guard dog that has the most ultimate traits of all the most ultimate critters. Including, but not limited to, the camouflaging skills of a chameleon, the tree climbing skills of a jaguar, the biting power of a ratpire, the rabid psychosis of an overweight early 2000’s pre-dawn Black Friday shopper and the acidic urine of a Wookalar. Naturally, she takes this bloodthirsty killing machine home. The evil scientist (Lance Henriksen) who created the killer beast wants his puppy back. Aww.

For a low-budget, early 1990’s killer dog movie, MAN’S BEST FRIEND is alright and definitely watchable, but there isn’t enough happening to keep the viewer fully invested. First off, the large corporation tracking down the killer dog is literally just Lance Henriksen! No secondary dogs or evil henchmen. Nope. Just ol’ Lance and his goofy, ill-fitted jacket. Secondly, the killer dog is an asshole. I can’t root for a psychotic dog who kills an innocent cat and a caged bird. Not to mention, he rapes another dog. It’d be one thing if he was going around killing various criminals and evil scientists, but he’s murdering innocent people just trying to live their lives. Thirdly, Ally Sheedy’s character is just so weak and dumb. She’s the anti-Ellen Ripley. The vast majority of the deaths and bad things that happen in the film are a result of her bad decisions.

Annoying kids, medium pace, zero nudity, zero gore, a little blood, suspected animal cruelty that pissed me off (that cat did not look happy in that one scene), early 1990's technology, disappointing ending, average acting, average cast. With some tweaks to the script, MAN’S BEST FRIEND could have been awesome, but instead it will mainly be remembered as the film Craig’s dad was watching in FRIDAY. “It’s your ass, Mr. Postman!”

DAMIEN: OMEN II (1978)

"Damien Thorn is the Antichrist."

Seven years after the events of the first film, Damien Thorn is now 12-years-old and living with his wealthy aunt and uncle.  Life is pretty normal for Damien: friends, military school, loving adoptive parents...but all of that changes when he learns that he's the Antichrist!  I mean, that's kinda shitty when you think about it...he never asked to be the Antichrist.  Anyway, just like in the first film, Damien has a small army of secret protectors watching over him and, most importantly, that awesome pre-FINAL DESTINATION invisible force is still going around killing everybody in crazy ways.  The kills in this film are pretty wicked.  My two favorites were the raven ripping the woman's eyeballs out before she stumbles out into the road then gets launched by a truck and the dude getting cut in half in the elevator.  I re-watched both multiple times.

Right from the beginning, DAMIEN: OMEN II moves along at a brisk pace.  The acting is really good (William Holden and Lee Grant were both fantastic), the story is very interesting, great kills, nice photography.  Hell, the whole thing is enjoyable.  I watched it twice for this review.  One thing that kinda struck me weird was how Lance Henriksen's character never really went anywhere.  Also, the abrupt ending.  It almost seems like there was more to the original story that didn't make it to the screen.

Anyway, if you like the OMEN series, then Part 2 is mandatory.  I honestly like it even more than Part 1.  It's a great continuation of the story.  I did miss the demonic dogs though.  Who left the dogs out?!  Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!

Part 1 - The Omen (1976)
Part 3 - Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)
Part 4 - Omen IV: The Awakening (1991)
Remake 1 - The Omen (2006)
Prequel - The First Omen (2024)