SPLASH (1984)

Forrest Gump is knocked unconscious when he falls off a boat near Cape Cod and he would have drown if he hadn't been saved by a mermaid (Daryl Hannah) who falls in love with him.  Stuff happens and the mermaid follows him back to New York City.  They hook up (she can somehow magically grow legs when she's out of the water) and then all kinds of "only in the movies" problem arise simply because she refuses to tell him she's a part-time mermaid.  Stuff like a mermaid obsessed scientist (Eugene Levy) stalking them, the government getting involved, her hiding from the rain, him being confused as fuck all the time, etc.  Also, at one point he illegally parks directly in front of a police station and doesn't get murdered by the police.  Totally unbelievable.

This was my first time seeing SPLASH and I'm kinda confused as to why it made so much money in the theaters back in 1984.  It's a okay film, but nothing special.  Yet somehow it made three million more than THE TERMINATOR and THE LAST STARFIGHTER combined!!!  It was the #10 money maker for the year!  I guess it was a good date movie or some of it could be attributed the desperate nerds wanting to wack off to Daryl Hannah's ass. Who knows. I've never been a part of normal human society so maybe something in this film was lost on me.

Mediocre story, average acting, no real laugh out loud moments only a few chuckles, John Candy in a few scenes not doing much, Ron Howard's dad, Ron Howard's brother, cool NYC street scenes including (in the highlight of the movie) an awesome looking theater showing a double-feature of THE EVIL DEAD and XTRO playing right next to a porno theater(?) showing films called THE MISTRESS, SWEET CHEEKS and SKINTIGHT...not even sure if those are real movies.

THE 'BURBS (1989)

"Satan is good. Satan is our pal."

Some nosy neighbors on a cul-de-sac have absolutely nothing better to do all day and night than spy on their new neighbors...and with good reason: these fuckers are weird as fuck!  You wouldn't want them living next to you, that's for sure.  As the film opens, it's late at night and Tom Hanks is investigating some strange noises coming from the neighbor's basement.  The next day his other neighbors dare him to go knock on the creepy neighbor's door.  He does, but with bad results.  Things just escalate and escalate from there until the street looks like a war zone.

THE 'BURBS was an alright ride.  I knew the basic premise of the story beforehand and was hoping that it was going to be balls to the wall crazy.  But unfortunately it was pretty tame.  Still I got a few chuckles out of it.  Plus, I finally discovered where that sample from the song "Carnage Castle" by Blood Freak came from!

Nowhere near as dark as it should have been, Corey Feldman acting cool, zero gore, zero blood, zero nudity, great cast, Tom Hanks freaking out, multiple references to Satan, various horror movies on televisions.  Worth an occasional viewing.  I'd love to see a dark remake.