REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984)

The story on this one’s pretty simple: college-age jocks vs. college-age nerds at a school that apparently has no actual classes nor any kind of rules of conduct.

Two best friends, Lewis and Gilbert, arrive at Adams College and are almost immediately kicked out of their dorm, along with a bunch of other “nerds”, to make room for some football players who partied so hard that they burned down their own fraternity house. The nerds join a different frat and from then on it’s just frat versus frat pranks and hijinks. Including such knee-slapping tomfoolery as sexual assault, illegally installing cameras in a female frat house and rape by deception. It’s a feel good adventure for the whole family!

Released in the summer of 1984, I was just a kid and I remember watching this movie a number of times. Mainly because it had a few tits in it, but it was also funny. Revisiting the film now for this review, it’s kind of shocking at just how caveman this movie is. That said, it does have it moments and, I guess, historically it is kind of important. At least as far as 1980’s pop culture goes.

Quick pace, solid cast that seem to be dedicated to their roles (I wish James Cromwell had a bigger role), dated humor, one clearly underage student partying with older students (and taking part in a "panty raid"), a goofy goose-like honk laugh, no teachers, zero strong female characters, zero gore, zero blood, not as much nudity as you would expect, an old woman in a night gown caressing a young boys face, vintage clothing fashions, a hook on a door frame that goes nowhere.

REVENGE OF THE NERDS is definitely dated and could (should) be seen as offensive to modern audiences, but hey, the 80's were all kinds of fucked up. If you're curious about it, then it's worth checking out.

[Update: This has absolutely nothing to do with the review, but while I was going through old newspapers looks for ads I noticed that on the weekend that Nerds debuted these movies were also showing (No wonder I spend so much time at the theater when I was a kid!)…GHOSTBUSTERS, GREMLINS, THE NEVERENDING STORY, THE KARATE KID, THE LAST STARFIGHTER, THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN, INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM, CONAN THE DESTROYER, STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK and more. Plus, PURPLE RAIN came out the next week. Fuckin’ sick]

Part 2 - Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987)
Part 3 - Revenge of the Nerds III: The Next Generation (1992)
Part 4 - Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994)

10 CLOVERFIELD LANE (2016)

Meh.

Well, the good news is Mary Elizabeth Winstead didn't get kidnapped by Dr. Heiter from THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE.  The bad news is the guy (John Goodman) she did get kidnapped by is almost as equally insane. Unfortunately for the viewer though, this is a major studio release so naturally it's rated PG-13 and neutered as fuck.

The emasculated fun begins with Mary being run off the road and then waking up shackled in a basement.  I like where this is going!  Soon enough though, the already low amount of suspense drops to nothing when Mary and this other dude simply accept their being held captive by fruitcake Goodman.  You see, according to Goodman, there's been a worldwide disaster and he's "saving their lives" by holding them captive down in his underground bunker.  No television, no internet, no emergency broadcast radio signals, not even a goddamn periscope!  No proof at all (except for one predictable scene with highly convenient timing).  Things proceed in a predictable manner...well, for the entire movie.

Mediocre pace, okay acting, zero mystery, crap ending, zero gore, zero nudity, mild cussing, promising premise that goes nowhere.  I was actually excited when I sat down to watch this film, but as the it dragged on and on and hit every single predictable story point, my excitement faded into disappointment.  John Goodman and Mary Elizabeth Winstead both deserve better than this.  Worth a watch, I guess, if you're easily impressed, really bored and have zero imagination.

Same universe - Cloverfield (2008)
Same universe - The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

Is this a reference to "Left 4 Dead"?

PRETTY IN PINK