Sunday, October 26, 2014
THE BEAST WITH FIVE FINGERS goes nowhere. The story takes too long to get moving and thenonce it does you're like "That's it?" and that ending! The final act drags on and on for so long that you're just begging the movie to end and once it finally does...there's a joke ending!!! It's like the filmmakers had zero faith in their product so they just slapped on a goofy ending as an apology or something. I don't know.
I like Peter Lorre and I had hopes that TBWFF was going to be like 1935's MAD LOVE, but nah it was boring through and through. I've seen commercials with a more compelling story. Skip it.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Annnnd...that's about it. Oh yeah, there was two badly shot topless scenes. Skip it and never look back.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
If you couldn't tell by the rousing music and the masses of people staring at him all glowy-eyed, President Harrison Ford is the greatest human in the universe. So when some naughty terrorist poopheads (lead by Gary Oldman) hijack Air Force One, it's up to President Harrison Ford to fake his escape and then turn the tables on these silly, silly clownheads and give them a twenty-one nut kick salute to the balls!
For a 1990's action film, AIR FORCE ONE till holds up. It's a little dated in the special effects and visceral action departments, but other than that it's an entertaining timewaster. I especially liked the performances of the two leads (Ford and Oldman). Although, I do wish that they would have made Oldman's character more psychotic. Quick pace, lots of action, patriotism overdose, anti-climatic ending, zero nudity, President Harrison Ford, that one guy looking like he's holding in a very unpatriotic fart for the last half of the movie, explosions, overacting, the Wishmaster getting choked out, average direction. Would make an interesting double-feature with EXECUTIVE DECISION.
Drinking game idea: every time somebody overrides another person's order, every time Gary Oldman screams and every time somebody sacrifices themselves to save President Harrison Ford's life.