HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965)

The Beach series really fell off the rails on this one.  Released just two months(!!!) after BEACH BLANKET BINGO, HTSAWB is a unfunny pile of dolphin testicles.  Frankie Avalon is now a sailor.  Stationed in Tahiti, he's knee deep in pussy.  One day, a native girl that he's banging playfully mentions that his girlfriend Dee Dee (Annette) is probably getting lots of strange dick while he's away.  This infuriates Frankie, so he hires a witch doctor (Buster Keaton) to have a bird spy on Annette and send a girl that can stuff a wild bikini to steal all the attention from the boys.  Meanwhile, Mickey Rooney and Brian Donlevy are ad execs searching for the "boy and girl next door" for an advertising campaign.  The male winner of the campaign, Dobie Gillis, excuse me, I mean, Dwayne Hickman falls for Annette, but Mickey and Brain have their sights set on the witchdoctor's decoy...and so does Eric Von Zipper.

That might not sound too bad, but trust me, it's a fucking snoozefest.  All of the jokes are D.O.A., the acting is stale and the songs!  Oh my god, they suck.  Forced, lifeless, talentless and torture to listen to.  In the older films the songs mostly had a natural feel to them, whether it was Frankie and Annette walking on the beach together or a band in the clubhouse, but here there songs just come out of nowhere.  People are talking then suddenly "The perfect boy doesn't have to be a Hercules (Hercules).  The perfect boy doesn't have to be Euripides ('ripdies)."  Euripides?!! Hahahaha!  Sadly, that's probably the best song in the movie, but those dumbass lyrics cracked me up.

Lame musical numbers, unfunny jokes, overacting, stupid story, Annette wearing tons of clothing since she was pregnant during the filming, Frankie reduced to probably less than 10 minutes of screentime, stupid motorcycle race finale, weak end credits without any go-go dancing.  The only funny thing was Eric Von Zipper and the Rats and they weren't that funny.  Skip it with a vengeance or watch it to make fun of.

Part 1 - Beach Party (1963)
Part 2 - Muscle Beach Party (1964)
Part 3 - Bikini Beach (1964)
Part 4 - Pajama Party (1964)
Part 5 - Beach Blanket Bingo (1965)
Part 7 - The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966)
Part 8 - Back to the Beach (1987)

IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD (1963)

What is there not to love about the epic comedy IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD?  In the opening scene Jimmy Durante goes sailing, just sailing, over a ridge next to a desert road.  Some fellow motorists pull over to see if they can help, but he's too far gone.  In his last moments right before he kicks the bucket he tells those gathered around about a treasure of 350 big ones buried 200 miles away underneath "a big W".  The witnesses dismiss it as the ravings of a dying man...but maybe it's true.  Couldn't hurt to check it out.  What follows next is the psychopathic rampage of a bunch of nuts who will stop at nothing to be the first person to the big W.  Also, since the cops don't know where the money is they decide, for whatever stupid reason, to allow these maniacs to destroy half of Southern California to see where the money is.

IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD is probably the greatest epic comedy of all time.  I can't think of anything funnier and with such an impressive cast.  The blazing pace, the comic timing, the lines, the scenery, the vehicles and more familiar faces than I even want to name!  It's more than you can take in in just one viewing.  Maybe even more than in a couple of viewings.  If you are at all interested in the classic comic actors/actresses of the 1930's - 1960's then IAMMMMW is a excellent starting point.  Just studying the names involved with this film alone will keep you busy for ages.  My only complaint is Jack Benny didn't have a bigger role...but then again his five word cameo is one of the funniest scenes in the movie.  Every time I think about his expression after she yells at him I crack up.   Why, oh why, didn't the movie gods see fit to have Ethel Merman and Jack Benny in a movie together?!!

Anyway, IAMMMMW is great movie that I think is hysterically funny.  Highly recommended.  Also, even though I appreciate the expanded 197-minute version on the Criterion Blu-ray, I actually prefer the quicker paced 163-minute version.

I seriously love this movie.