Sunday, September 24, 2023

FRIDAY (1995)

[Note: This review is for the 91-minute Theatrical Version, not the 97-minute Director's Cut.]

Ah FRIDAY. I love this movie. I’ve seen it well over 300 times and have even made it to the end credits at least a hundred times. The reason I say that is because while the first hour (which is about two unemployed men in Los Angeles hanging out on a front porch) is one of the greatest single hours in movie history (seriously), the 3rd act just cannot sustain the awesome tidal wave of relentless entertainment due to the subject matter shifting abruptly from hilarious slice-of-life stuff like a character (who’s locked out his own home) urgently trying to find a place out on the street to take a attempted murder! It’s just too much. If the story had stayed about the colourful neighborhood characters for the entire movie, then FRIDAY would easily be a 10/10 film. As it is though, it’s just a lowly 8/10.

Awesome pace, dozens of quotable lines that I still use often in my daily life, awesome camerawork, perfect editing, great characters (while I do appreciate Kevin Spacey’s outstanding supporting actor performance in THE USUAL SUSPECTS, if I was an Academy voter, my vote would have went to Chris Tucker’s performance as “Smokey”. He literally carries the entire movie.), a big perm, I mean, big worm, tons of small touches that make me smile (the backwards foot, the man laying in Joi's bed, the continuing car backfire, etc.), mind control over Deebo, MAN’S BEST FRIEND on the TV, Claude having mercy, Michael Clarke Duncan playing dice, Cypress Hill posters, a half-dead motherfucker, $2.50 and a jawbreaker, a badass soundtrack, Kool-Aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn!

Anyway. Just go watch it.  And if you've already seen it...then watch it again.  The 91-minute version, it has a better pace than the longer version. Bye, Felisha.

[Update 06/11/2024: This might be far-fetched, but could the scene in FRIDAY with Mrs. Parker watering her all dirt front yard, be a play on Furious Styles bagging up leaves in his treeless yard in BOYZ N THE HOOD?]

Part 2 - Next Friday (2000)
Part 3 - Friday After Next (2002)

Wednesday, September 13, 2023


A wannabe investigative reporter (Ally Sheedy), who has the intelligence of a pine cone and the visual observation skills of a blind mole-rat, illegally breaks into a genetic research facility to see what’s poppin’ up n dat bish. Turns out the scientists are creating the ultimate guard dog that has the most ultimate traits of all the most ultimate critters. Including, but not limited to, the camouflaging skills of a chameleon, the tree climbing skills of a jaguar, the biting power of a ratpire, the rabid psychosis of an overweight early 2000’s pre-dawn Black Friday shopper and the acidic urine of a Wookalar. Naturally, she takes this bloodthirsty killing machine home. The evil scientist (Lance Henriksen) who created the killer beast wants his puppy back. Aww.

For a low-budget, early 1990’s killer dog movie, MAN’S BEST FRIEND is alright and definitely watchable, but there isn’t enough happening to keep the viewer fully invested. First off, the large corporation tracking down the killer dog is literally just Lance Henriksen! No secondary dogs or evil henchmen. Nope. Just ol’ Lance and his goofy, ill-fitted jacket. Secondly, the killer dog is an asshole. I can’t root for a psychotic dog who kills an innocent cat and a caged bird. Not to mention, he rapes another dog. It’d be one thing if he was going around killing various criminals and evil scientists, but he’s murdering innocent people just trying to live their lives. Thirdly, Ally Sheedy’s character is just so weak and dumb. She’s the anti-Ellen Ripley. The vast majority of the deaths and bad things that happen in the film are a result of her bad decisions.

Annoying kids, medium pace, zero nudity, zero gore, a little blood, suspected animal cruelty that pissed me off (that cat did not look happy in that one scene), early 1990's technology, disappointing ending, average acting, average cast. With some tweaks to the script, MAN’S BEST FRIEND could have been awesome, but instead it will mainly be remembered as the film Craig’s dad was watching in FRIDAY. “It’s your ass, Mr. Postman!”