THE ROCK (1996)

A disgruntled general and a bunch of military dudes take over Alcatraz Island.  They lock all of the tourists in cells and then threaten to kill everybody in San Francisco with a deadly chemical gas (launched on missiles) unless they get 100 million dollars.  That sounds like the set-up for a fairly entertaining film: highly trained dudes in a highly fortified position, super badass dudes gotta sneak in and rescue the day...but then you see the credit "Directed by Michael Bay" and you know that you're gonna get all of that plus loads of crazy, illogical, fucked-up silliness.  Exotic cars, wailing guitars, explosions on top of other explosions, a ridiculous car chase, people barking orders, manly camera angles, patriotism overload, the Sun, helicopters, military jets...and then you add on Nicholas Cage's patented overacting!!! Wow!  That's a surefire recipe for entertainment.  Entertainment like a motherfucker!!

In order to sneak into Alcatraz, the FBI forcefully recruits escape artist/ex-spy Sean Connery (the only man to have successfully snuck out of Alcatraz) to lead a group of Navy SEALS and FBI chemical weapons nerd Nicholas Cage into "the Rock".

Even all these years later THE ROCK is still an entertaining ride.  Dumb story, impressive cast, fast pace, worried girlfriend looking all worried, Sean Connery channeling James Bond, a runaway coal mine cart chase.  Recommended.

If you think about it, it's kinda funny because Michael Biehn and Ed Harris' roles from THE ABYSS are now reversed: now it's Harris who is the bad guy and Biehn is the good guy. Also, I'm kinda surprised they haven't remade this with Dwayne Johnson in it.

SNOWPIERCER (2013)

"I believe it is easier for people to survive on this train if they have some level of insanity."

Set in 2031, SNOWPIERCER tells about how way back in ye olde 2014 countries all over the world purposely released some climate engineering shit into the atmosphere in hopes of counteracting the rising temperatures...it worked.  It worked so well, in fact, that it created another ice age and nearly killed all life on Earth.  D'oh!

Nobody knows how many people survived in underground bunkers or caves.  SNOWPIERCER only tells story of a large group of survivors on a massive train that drives around all over the planet nonstop.  Now the logistics of a train driving fast as shit, nonstop for 17 years busting through mountains of snow and walls of ice is completely ridiculous, but whatever.  The entire movie is filmed in a kinda vague, surrealistic way so I don't think reality was what the filmmakers were going for.  I think SNOWPIERCER is more about style.

As such, it succeeds.  The story is about the inhabitants on the back of the train (the "slum" area) getting sick and tired of their living conditions, so they revolt and start making their way to the front of the train.  All kinds of hip imagery and fight scenes follow.  If you don't put too much stock into the story and just enjoy the ride, SNOWPIERCER is an enjoyable ride.  The fight scenes could have been more brutal, but I definitely got a SALO, OR THE 120 DAYS OF SODOM vibe a few times (the woman in the yellow jacket scene and the look on Tilda Swinton's face during the night vision scene) so that was a good thing.

Quick pace, good acting (I especially liked Alison Pill as the tripped out school teacher...eyes all rolling back in her head with psychotic fervor), plot holes galore, under use of Kang-ho Song, exciting action scenes that look good but lack any real violence, good lighting, unsatisfying ending.

For what it is, SNOWPIERCER is a fun film.  I would really like to see a ultra-gritty video game version. [Update 2021: The Snowpiercer level on Hitman III is dope!]

Worth a watch.