HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH (2001)

"...the pain that cuts a straight line down through the heart. We call it love."

Raised in East Germany during the Cold War, a young Hansel Schmidt found mental escape and inspiration from listening to glam rockers like Lou Reed, Iggy Pop and David Bowie. He then found actual real life escape by marrying an American soldier and moving to America. Unfortunately, in order to pass the physical to get married, he underwent a botched reassignment surgery that left her with a one inch lump of skin where his ping-ding used to be.  Once in America, the marriage (built on such a strong foundation) fails and Hansel (now Hedwig) starts performing original songs in whatever small venue will have her.  That is where our tale begins.

I absolutely love HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH...all the way up until the Tommy Gnosis character shows up. I felt that way two decades ago when I first saw this film and I've felt it the dozen or so times I've watched it again over the years.  It starts out so strong and just gets better and better!  One great song after another, each presented in such imaginative ways that effortlessly pushes the story forward.  Then Tommy Gnosis shows up and the movie putters to an unsatisfactory end.  It's disappointing.  Still, I love the character of Hedwig.  And her band (even though they aren't the focus of the film) are all so unique and likable.  Another positive thing is I cannot even decide which song I love the most.  They're all so great!  Wig in a Box, Angry Inch, Tear Me Down, Sugar Daddy, The Origin of Love, Wicked Little Town, Midnight Radio, In Your Arms Tonight, Exquisite Corpse...I mean, goddamn, how can one musical have so many awesome songs?!  If I had to pick just one performance from the film, I'd have to say Sugar Daddy.  The song with it's Country twang is great and the performance in the film is beyond charming and funny.  I smile my handsome smile the entire time.  "It's a car wash, ladies and gentlemen."  Holy shit, that scene is perfect.

Long story, short: HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH is a great film and 100% mandatory for anybody who loves glam musicals.  I personally find the last act to be disappointing, but who knows, maybe you'll love it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go spend the rest of the day singing the soundtrack to my cat, Susie. "I put on some make-up..."

[I just wanted to add that Michael Pitt does a fine job in his portrayal of the Tommy Gnosis character, I just straight-up didn't think the character needed to be in the film at all.  Hedwig's personal journey was already enough material for a film.]

ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL (1979)

The students of Vince Lombardi High School love rock music and (for whatever illogical movie logic reason) this love of rocking out keeps driving their principals insane.  Like literally.  So before the last principal can even be shipped off to the nuthouse, the school board brings in the new principal: Miss Togar.  Miss Togar (Mary Woronov) hates rock music, so it's only natural that on her first day as principal she butts heads with "Number 1 Ramones fan" Riff Randell (P.J. Soles).  And to make matters even worse: Riff has to miss three days of school in order to wait in line to buy everybody at school tickets to the upcoming Ramones concert.

That's about as deep as the story gets, but it fits the playful mood of the movie perfectly.  I've watched ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL dozens times since I was a teenager and watching it again just a few minutes ago I still got lost in the energy of the movie.  It's entertaining as hell right from the opening scene but then when the Ramones show up in person about halfway through...the excitement level goes right off the charts!  I loved the Ramones concert scenes so much that I watched them like four or five times.

Without even having a way to know it, the filmmakers captured the Ramones at the height of their post-Tommy Ramone power and because of that alone ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL is a one-of-a-kind treasure of American culture.  They couldn't act for shit, but goddamn their screen presence was amazing.

Human-sized rats, great cast (a few of them probably giving the best performances of their careers), the fakest-looking TV camera in movie history, The Real Don Steele, off-screen birds chirping out "cheap...cheap" when the New World Picture copyright shows up in the opening credits, lightening-fast pace that never lets up for a moment, the promise to give Mr. McGlup a visit, a van with a badass paint job, somebody looking for Carbona, awesome 70's hairstyles on the girls, uncredited Joe Dante direction when director Allan Arkush was hospitalized for exhaustion, tons of great quotable lines, Dee Dee smiling.

ROCK 'N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL is mandatory viewing for all lovers of stuff that was awesome in the late 1970's. Double-feature with A HARD DAY'S NIGHT.

If you need me, I'll be in my room tossing slices of pizza at my Mick Jagger poster.

Tommy