ESCAPE FROM L.A. (1996)

"You may have escaped from New York, but this is L.A., vato."

August 23, 2000.  A massive earthquake separates Los Angeles from mainland America.  The hardcore Christian President turns the new island into a prison where anybody who doesn't fit into his idea of a perfect Christian nation (kweers, atheists, drug users,dogs and cats who live together, etc.) is exiled permanently.  Logistically, that doesn't even make sense, but whatever.

Fast-forward to 2013 and the President's hot daughter is brainwashed via virtual reality by a revolutionary leader who lives on the Island of Los Angeles. He has her steal a top secret super weapon called the "Sword of Damocles" and deliver it to him. So now it's up to the government to sneak a dude onto the island to locate the President's daughter and return the weapon. That's where soon to be transported to Manhattan, I mean, Los Angeles prisoner and ex-special forces soldier "Snake" Plissken comes in. Yep, that's right.  It's the same fucking story as the original film, except this time instead of Manhattan it's L.A.

Surfing, playing basketball, hang gliding, walking on a treadmill...this movie is definitely weird.  A good way to briefly describe ESCAPE FROM L.A. is there's a short scene where Snake is walking near a road and a car drives by with a dude hanging out of the window shooting a gun while blaring Sugar Ray.  Yes, Sugar Ray.  Snake then turns around to walk off.  The sound of thunder is heard while a bright light flashes from behind a nearby bush.  (It's almost like that awesome non-gun drive by two years later in DISTURBING BEHAVIOR with the non-threatening dudes and that Sesame Street music blaring.)

All things considered, ESCAPE FROM L.A. isn't much worse than the already overrated ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. Cheesier yes, but laughing at it actually adds the much needed entertainment the original lacked.  Based purely on entertainment, EFLA is barely passable.  The story is weak, the look of the whole thing is garbage, the entire movie is a night, zero nudity, zero gore, zero blood, the action scenes are forgettable, the dialogue is rubbish.  Honestly, the biggest entertainment comes from the surprising cast and simply laughing at...everything.  Especially the story and the special effects.

Part 1 - Escape from New York (1981)

MASSACRE AT CENTRAL HIGH (1976)

[Update 05/17/2021: Need to redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

For years I've thought that this was a hardcore horror movie so when I started it up I was quite shocked when the opening theme song was some pathetic 70's folk guitar ballad horseshit. Then the characters show up and they're a bunch of pussies! What the hell is going on here...this is a goddamn drama movie!!! Once I settled into my disappointment I realized that the film wasn't half bad. In fact it's pretty much a HEATHERS of the 70's.

David's new to Central High. He meets different students (each representing a different political group or ideal) and the four bullies who keep order in the school with an iron fist (I guess they represent Communism). David instantly gets on the bad side of the bullies and tries to get the other students to revolt. They decline and the bullies break David's leg. He returns to school and assassinates three of the bullies. With no bullies, the students go wild and tear the shit out of everything and start fighting over who's going to be the new boss. David doesn't like how things are turning out so he starts a fresh wave of assassinations.

The gore level is zero and I used the term "assassination" for a reason, he isn't murdering people in standard slasher fashion, but actually assassinating them like in a political action film...bombings, sabotaging vehicles, etc . This movie is not a slasher. It's more like a high school retelling of Orwell's "Animal Farm" with more violence and weird 70's fashions. Only a half-hearted recommendation.