GALAXY QUEST (1999)

"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged."

Don't let the fact you don't know anything about "Star Trek" stop you from watching this delightful and skillfully written space comedy.

Many years after the science fiction show "Galaxy Quest" was cancelled, the stars rely on appearance gigs (conventions, store openings, etc.) for money.  They're a jaded group but still appreciate their dedicated fans.  One day the Captain (Tim Allen) is approached by a group of real life aliens asking for his help.  He mistakenly thinks they want him for a paid appearance so he agrees.  Not to lose out on a gig some of his co-stars (Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman, Tony Shalhoub, Sam Rockwell) tag along and end up getting involved in the middle of a huge interplanetary war between the peaceful humanoids aliens and the warlike talking insect-reptile aliens.

Not only is it a brilliant satire of "Star Trek" but it's also an respectful (and touching) tribute to fandom in general.  Amazing cast (Alan Rickman kinda steals the show), fast pace, Grabthar's hammer, impressive special effects, historical documents, chompers, rock monster, tentacles, great story.  GALAXY QUEST is a excellent film that can be enjoyed over and over again.  Highly recommended.

THIRTEEN GHOSTS (2001)

A widowed father of two, who is supposedly poor, but yet somehow has a live-in maid (who doesn't cook or clean) inherits a large mansion from his estranged uncle.  Without telling anybody, the family (and the worthless maid) head out to the secluded mansion.  Once at this glass palace with Latin text written all over the glass walls and even the floor, the father starts to figure out that things are not quite what they appear to be.  The biggest clue would be the 12 ghosts locked up in the basement in specially made ghost traps.  The story only gets sillier from there as it's revealed the house is not actually a house, but a large machine made especially to open a doorway to Hell.  Yawn.

THIRTEEN GHOSTS is not horrible.  It's not good either.  Honestly, it's not really anything!  If you watch it, you watch it, but if you don't then you're not missing anything.  The two main reasons anybody would watch it are: it's horror and Shannon Elizabeth.  But you'll end up disappointed, because the horror consists of a bunch of morons running from lame looking ghosts with music video editing and Shannon Elizabeth never even got close to naked!  Hell, she wore a jacket nearly the entire movie!

Skip it.  Oh yeah, here's some screenshots of that naked ghost for you freaks out there.