DIAL M FOR MURDER (1954)

Not to be confused with Dial M for Fuck You, this film is about grumpy husband Ray Milland who has had about enough of his wife, Grace Kelly.  He's found out that she's cheating on him and suddenly that Last Will and Testament where she left all of her considerable wealth to him is starting to look pretty good!  He's not in a rush though, oh no, he's taken months to plan out the perfect murder and tonight while he's out at a dinner party with plenty of witnesses around, his wife is going to be murdered at their home.  But if you know anything about Hitchcock you know there's going to be a twist or two or maybe not.

From what I've read, Hitchcock only did this film due to a contractual obligation, but I believe (I have zero proof of this) that Hitch was partially interested in turning the play into a film because nearly the entire movie takes place on a single set and he wanted to maybe use the experience as practice for his massive single set masterpiece he would make later that same year: REAR WINDOW. Don't quote me on that, it's just me thinking out loud.

Anyway, DMFM is a good film. It's nothing groundbreaking (even though some of the camerawork is very impressive), but it's good for a one time watch. One thing I did notice that impressed me was Grace Kelly's dresses change colour as the film progressed and her situation became more dire. The first five screenshots below show the progression. At first she is happy and her dress is crimson red, then a darker red, then white, gray and finally black.

Not the greatest Hitchcock film, but still a solid one that deserves to be seen.

SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE (2011)

"It was horrible."

SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE is a nice horror movie to watch while laying in bed trying to fall asleep. A college professor receives a mysterious package in the mail. Inside is a metal glove along with a hand drawn map of the bowels of the college. After some searching, her assistants find another mysterious box that when opened reveals a ancient severed head of a banshee. Suddenly the head comes alive shrieks out a super loud scream, then explodes into dust. Now everybody who heard the scream is cursed as fuck. Including anybody bored or dumb enough to watch this stinker.

Slow pace, boring story, bored actors trying their best to make something out of this shit script, dumb looking monster, lame special effects, zero nudity, very little blood, crap lighting, a totally bullshit look to the entire movie that made everything fuzzy and a weird colour tint, very little screentime for Lance Henriksen.

Overall, SCREAM OF THE BANSHEE tries to be a good film but completely fails. It was painful to get through. That said, even though it sucked I don't regret watching it.

FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

If this FRIGHT NIGHT was the first FRIGHT NIGHT ever made, nobody would be clamoring for a remake...come to think of it, I can't remember anybody clamoring for a remake to begin with! Oh well, the damage is done so let's give it a shot and see what they've done. Who knows, maybe it's awesome...

...it's not. The film opens with a vampire killing a family. The scene is so vague and brief that I could barely even register what was happening. Next we are introduced to Charley Brewster, an average teen with an unaveragely pretty girlfriend (well at least that's one improvement over the original!). Charley's normal life is turned upside down when his friend, Evil Ed, informs him that his new neighbor is a vampire...already, this movie is diverging so much from the original that it might as well just be a completely new story all together.  Anyway, so once Charley discovers his neighbor is a vampire, he contacts a local celebrity, Peter Vincent, for help. Peter is no longer a funny, pathetic and lovable horror movie host. Instead, he's a cocky magician that comes off like a bizarre lovechild of Criss Angel and Russell Brand. Ugh, you know what? Who fucking cares? As a remake FRIGHT NIGHT (2011) is garbage, but as a stand alone vampire film it's OK.

The whole thing comes off more like an episode of a TV show than it does a movie. Gone are the enjoyable characters from the original, instead they've been replaced with forgettable characters. Gone are the awesome actors that brought those characters to life, instead they've been replaced with actors that seem to be happy with just turning in an passable performance. Gone are the awesome special effects, instead they've been replaced with middle-of-the-road CGI. Gone is the tightly written script that masterfully mixed horror and campy humor, instead it's been replace with a generic script that masterfully mixes boredom and light blasphemy.

Wow. This review ended up a little more negative than I intended it to be, but I really love the original FRIGHT NIGHT and even though this remake wasn't too bad, it does not deserve to be called FRIGHT NIGHT.  It should have just been a completely different thing.

Part 1 - Fright Night (1985)
Part 2 - Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
Remake 2 - Fright Night 2 (2013)

Look at that chick's face.