PIRANHA (2010)

[Update 04/18/2023: Need rewatch this film and redo this review completely. Fix the screenshots also.]

Sheriff Elizabeth Shue discovers that a bunch of killer piranhas are headed right for the drunken Spring Breakers that are infesting her town. Instead of making the world a better place and not telling anyone, but she does the evil thing and warns them. Naturally they don't listen and soon get eaten.

I really expected this movie to take the dick and suck it, but it was actually pretty entertaining. Not entertaining enough that I would ever want to watch it again, but I got some good laughs out of it. Also Kelly Brook is extraordinarily beautiful, but yet her nude scene totally sucked! She has one of the hottest bodies on the planet, but for whatever reason, maybe the 3D bullshit, her naked body looked all cartoony to the point that I couldn't even tell if it was real or not. And that happened a lot with this movie. Nearly all of the gore and blood scenes looked CGI but when you watch the extras you see that they're actually not! It was really weird. I know this is just a cheesy killer fish movie, but really wish the filmmakers would have concentrated more on writing an original script and using real special effects instead of trying to look slick. The movie is fun, but the script is garbage. It's like the scriptwriters had a slumber party and watched JAWS, JAWS 2, EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS, the original PIRANHA and just mash it all together with a dash of "Girls Gone Wild" parody. It's crap, but I guess the target audience really doesn't care. Hopefully Part 2 has an better story, more gore and more action.

Nice amount of tits, tons of crappy looking CGI, really horrible rap and techno bullshit, a bunch of really good actors in supporting roles, Elisabeth Shue looking old!, crushed head, chick's hair stuck in boat propeller, roaring piranhas, blood all over the place with lots of gnawed up limbs. Definitely a fun rent, but that's about it.

Best scene in the movie: during the main attack scene a dude says fuck this shit, jumps in a boat and just starts running people over! It was hilarious.

Part 1 - Piranha (1978)
Part 2 - Piranha II: The Spawning (1981)

Remake - Piranha (1995)

Reboot 2 - Piranha 3DD (2012)

Is this a nod to the famous TITANIC shot?

JAWS (1975)

"You're going to need a bigger boat."

The citizens of sleepy Amity Island don't think too much of it when a young visitor disappears after a beach party. These kind of things occasionally happen when you live so close to the ocean...drownings, boating accidents, etc., but things change when the body is found. The mutilated corpse shows clear signs of a shark attack. Police Chief Brody, in his first year on the job, is startled by the corpse and sets out to close the beaches before anybody else gets killed. The mayor gets wind of his intentions and stops him because "Amity is a summer town." that depends of the tourist's money. Bad call. Soon after a boy, a man and cute dog are killed by the rouge shark in clear view of everybody. Things happen and soon Chief Brody, a marine biologist and a local shark hunter set out to kill the shark. That is where the story really takes off.

Not only is JAWS one of the most influential films of the 1970's, it's probably one of the most influential films of all time.  And with great reason: it's a awesome movie.  Attention getting story with a pace that never lets up, great acting (Robert Shaw and Roy Scheider should have both been nominated for an Academy Award), beautiful scenery, great photography, legendary monster that scared the living fuck out of an entire generation and probably one of the most instantly identifiable musical scores of all time.  Highly, highly recommended. This is one of my favorite movies to watch over and over again.

A great story about a fan hunting for the fourth "Bruce"...here.

Part 2 - Jaws 2 (1978)
Part 3 - Jaws 3 (1983)
Part 4 - Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

"Coroner" misspelled twice.

 How nice of Bruce to give Quint a cushion to lay on.

 Crab flying from offscreen.