CLASS OF 1999 (1990)

In 1999, things are going to be all kinds of fucked up: Stanley Kubrick is going to evolve into a skeleton, dogs and cats not living together, all the computers in the Universe are going stop working at exactly midnight on New Year’s Eve, Stephen King is going to get run over by a moron playing with his dog, thousands of violent mass suicides inside movie theaters showing WILD WILD WEST and the American public school system will be so f’d that the Department of Education Defense will experiment in using some TERMINATOR-style killbots as teachers. Sounds like a well-thought-out plan. Unfortunately, the three “inhuman teaching monsters” chosen to straighten up the student body of Seattle’s Kennedy High are all completely insane, so before you can say “Hello my baby, Hello my Honey, cum in my rectum now!” the robot teachers have graduated from simple karate moves to MDK. Murder Death Kill.

Time has not been kind to CLASS OF 1999. I remember seeing it in the theater back in 1990 and really enjoying it thanks to the quick pace, above average acting and goofy story, but watching it again now for this brilliantly written review, CO1999 is dated and severely lacking in the action department. Still, it’s worth watching for anybody curious about it.

Steady pace, nostalgic early 1990’s special effects, wacky futuristic clothing, an indoor club where people are constantly firing guns into the air, zero nudity, zero gore, very little blood, “The Nine Inch Nails” in the closing credits, some really old-looking high school students, a background actor who looks a lot like Rose McGowan, a few cool stunts, explosions, Stacy Keach with an albino power mullet.

Part 1 - Class of 1984 (1982)
Part 3 - Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994)

LEPRECHAUN 2 (1994)

Ahhhh, LEPRECHAUN 2. The number 2 in the title could lead the viewer to believe that LEPRECHAUN 2 is a sequel to the original film, but is it really? In the original, the leprechaun was 600 years old while in this film, he’s celebrating his 2,000th birthday. He was also dumped in a well at the end of Part 1, but in this movie, he is as free and happy as a demented jaybird. And horny. Sequel, reboot or stand-alone film…nobody cares. We just wanna see the leprechaun scamper around acting like an asshole. And scamper around he does. Much more than in the original film. Warwick really commits himself to role. It was awesome. In Part 1 he was stalking some nerds at a farmhouse while looking for his gold, but in this film, he’s balls out running around Los Angeles looking for his gold and a wife! And who would have guessed it, but the leprechaun actually has good taste! The woman he picks to be his desired bride turns out to be one of the better horror movie heroines of the 1990’s.

The story isn’t really important, but like I said earlier, Lep is now in Los Angeles looking for a wife. While in the act of kidnapping his bride-to-be he accidentally loses a coin, so now he has to put the nuptials on hold while he locates the lost gold. It’s all just an excuse to have him running round killing people. Unfortunately, the overall body count is pretty low.

Medium pace, goofy kill scenes (example: a guy thinks he’s putting his face between some tits when he’s really putting his face into a running lawnmower blade), no real blood or gore, one minor topless scene, cheap-looking sets that were kind of charming, random Los Angeles street scenes, JUDGEMENT NIGHT, CLIFFHANGER and SISTER ACT 2 playing in the theater, a brief Clint Howard sighting, GERONIMO advertisement on the side of a bus, okay acting, Disintegration and the Ramones on a jukebox in a bar, zero ninjas, no cheerleaders, low body count, Lep driving a go-cart with “I want me gold” spray painted on the side, extremely abrupt ending.

Closing statement: LEPRECHAUN 2 is a totally stand-alone movie and worth watching for fans of the series and/or fans of silly 1990’s horror movies.

Part 1 - Leprechaun (1993)
Part 3 - Leprechaun 3 (1995)
Part 4 - Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)
Part 5 - Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)
Part 6 - Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)
Reboot - Leprechaun: Origins (2014)
Direct sequel to original film - Leprechaun Returns (2018)