FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS (1954)

As you remember, at the end of part 4, Francis was making out with a zebra in Central Park while Peter and his girlfriend watched. Well, as part 5 opens, all of that has been tossed out the window apparently. Peter and Francis are separated once again, the girlfriend is M.I.A. and now, big dummy Peter (who’s even dumber than ever) is working as a bank teller. Within a few seconds of us seeing Peter for the first time, he starts screaming inside the bank lobby and then accidentally sets off the alarm! Next thing you know, Peter has been re-enlisted into the military and somehow sent to an all-female camp. You would think that they’d toss him out on his unwanted dick, but nope, he’s put in charge of whipping the women into shape for an upcoming war game. So, where is Francis during all of this? Funny you should ask, because on Peter’s first night in camp, as he’s standing in his room holding up a bra while saying “Fancy earmuffs.” …Francis magically appears in the window! Shit doesn’t make any sense at all, but whatever. I’ll roll with it.

FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS is the silliest film of the series so far. But that's not saying much cause they're all dumb as fuck. One interesting thing we do learn in FJTWACS is that in Peter’s Official Military Personnel File (OMPF) it states that he’s already been committed into “neuro-psychiatric retention” 27 times! That's some "Howling Mad" Murdock numbers right there. And it explains a lot because Peter is totally unhinged in this installment. Dude can barely walk three feet without causing a ruckus. Another funny thing is the real-life voice of Francis is an actor named Chill Wills and he appears in this film as a general who bumps heads with Francis. So now you got scenes of a real-life actor arguing with himself in the form of his other character. That was cute.

If you're watching the series in order, then this installment is just more of the same shtick. Peter gets into all kinds of trouble because he's a moron, Francis saves his ass, nobody believes that Francis can talk, Francis talks, everybody loses their shit, the end. Three things I did like about FRANCIS JOINS THE WACS: there's more scenes of Francis doing things and out in public than usual; it had a good supporting cast (including Julie Adams, Mamie Van Doren and ZaSu Pitts) and finally, in the last scene Francis and Peter walk off together. I get really upset when they part ways. It's very depressing.

Curious how many old-timey CFNM fetishists got their start seeing Peter working out in his underwear surrounded by a hundred giggling (and fully clothed) women?

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 4 - Francis Covers the Big Town (1953)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)

FRANCIS COVERS THE BIG TOWN (1953)

I’m beginning to suspect that there is pretty much zero continuity between the Francis films. At the end of the last movie, Francis and Peter parted ways (yet again) but in this film they’re living together while Peter works as a copyboy in a large newspaper office. Soon though, Peter is promoted to a full-blown reporter thanks to the endless scoops that Francis gets for Peter by talking to various horses and mules around New York. It’s not all sunshine and carrot-flavored carrots though, no siree bob. You gotta remember (I guess there is some continuity after all!) that Peter is an idiot. So, while working on a story about a “protection racket”, his dumbass gets framed and arrested for murder!

Out of the series so far, FRANCIS COVERS THE BIG TOWN is the most enjoyable and best constructed. It even had a scene with Francis and Peter walking down a crowded street together. That was cool, I really enjoyed that. (I think it was West 46th St, but never been there. So just guessing.) Good pace, zero nudity, zero gore, a few goofy jokes that made me roll my handsome eyeballs, movie theater ads for SATURDAY’S HERO, HERE COMES THE GROOM, THE WELL and QUO VADIS, a brief John Qualen sighting.

I have more to say, but too depressed to think (or breathe). In short, Francis 4 is a fun addition to the series and worth checking out for those curious.

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 5 - Francis Joins the WACS (1954)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)