FRANCIS COVERS THE BIG TOWN (1953)

I’m beginning to suspect that there is pretty much zero continuity between the Francis films. At the end of the last movie, Francis and Peter parted ways (yet again) but in this film they’re living together while Peter works as a copyboy in a large newspaper office. Soon though, Peter is promoted to a full-blown reporter thanks to the endless scoops that Francis gets for Peter by talking to various horses and mules around New York. It’s not all sunshine and carrot-flavored carrots though, no siree bob. You gotta remember (I guess there is some continuity after all!) that Peter is an idiot. So, while working on a story about a “protection racket”, his dumbass gets framed and arrested for murder!

Out of the series so far, FRANCIS COVERS THE BIG TOWN is the most enjoyable and best constructed. It even had a scene with Francis and Peter walking down a crowded street together. That was cool, I really enjoyed that. (I think it was West 46th St, but never been there. So just guessing.) Good pace, zero nudity, zero gore, a few goofy jokes that made me roll my handsome eyeballs, movie theater ads for SATURDAY’S HERO, HERE COMES THE GROOM, THE WELL and QUO VADIS, a brief John Qualen sighting.

I have more to say, but too depressed to think (or breathe). In short, Francis 4 is a fun addition to the series and worth checking out for those curious.

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 3 - Francis Goes to West Point (1952)
Part 5 - Francis Joins the WACS (1954)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)

FRANCIS GOES TO WEST POINT (1952)

"Drop dead."

After literally murdering people together in part 1 and then nearly being fitted for “cement slippers” while taking on the mob in part 2, wise ass Francis the shit-talking mule and dim-witted Peter Stirling (Donald O’Connor) appear to be living a quiet life in an unnamed city. Peter works at a factory (doing what, I have no fucking clue) while Francis goes around town ease dropping on people. One tidbit of info he hears is that some Uncle Sam haters are going to blow up the factory Peter works at. Francis tells Peter and Peter somehow saves the day, despite being a dumbfuck. As a reward, twenty-six year-old Peter is accepted into West Point military academy. Naturally, Francis shows up and becomes a school mascot, an assistant football coach and a French language tutor. He's even offered a job as a professor at one point! Along the way there’s some kind of mistaken ID bullshit going around (thanks to Peter illegally reading other people’s mail) that might cause West Point to lose the Army-Navy football game.

As far as the Francis films go, WEST POINT is alright. I enjoyed the quick pace, the interesting faces (including James Best and David Janssen as upperclassmen) and the neat old footage of the actual West Point, but once again I was depressed at how easily Francis and Peter accept leaving each other. It happened a few times in this film and really bummed me out. I was also disappointed in how cheap the whole thing looked. All of the scenes set outside on the West Point campus looked to be filmed in front of a screen. I don’t know why, but I was kinda looking forward to scenes of Peter and Francis running around the West Point grounds together. Maybe trying to solve a murder or tract down a werewolf or bust an illegal moonshine ring ran by witches! Anything. How about some illegal DVD bootleggers from the early 2000’s time travel back to West Point in order to hide their stash, but then a freshman plebe finds a copy of COOL AS ICE and starts telling everybody he’s gonna “uh, schling a schlong” and about how his homeboy’s bike is trippin. So now Francis and Peter have gotta stop being zeroes and start being heroes in order to save the day. Hyfgcv oikl [My cat, Charlie, just stepped on the keyboard while trying to get my attention, so I’m leaving that in.]

Alright, well, I do have more to say, but Charlie wants to play, so I gotta go. Nobody reads this shit anyway. But yeah, it’s a silly film. I enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun to yell at the TV while watching.  I think I talked shit the entire movie.

Part 1 - Francis (1950)
Part 2 - Francis Goes to the Races (1951)
Part 4 - Francis Covers the Big Town (1953)
Part 5 - Francis Joins the WACS (1954)
Part 6 - Francis in the Navy (1955)
Part 7 - Francis in the Haunted House (1956)